Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Nurse's Aides

Otherwise known as CNA's.

Disclaimer: I am only presenting a stereotype we find here at the hospital. I'm sure.. ok maybe not sure.. that there are CNA's that are not like the people I'm going to complain about. Also, I could not be a CNA. Even thinking about helping someone wipe their own butt, or cleaning up after barf and urine make me ill. I could not do their job at all.

So, with all of that said..

The CNA's in my hospital are usually white trash (WT)... and even worse.. sometimes Brem Brem Trash (BT). They are a distinctive class of employees in the hospital, and you can usually tell the difference between RN's and CNA's. CNA's often have bad teeth, bad pronunciation of words, overuse of swear words in the professional setting, stories of police calls for domestic violence, and a general pretense of medical knowledge.

I heard one CNA say this one patient had dystentery (wrong--he had a flare-up of Crohn's disease), and that he was on TPN (nutrition by IV), which causes diarrhea (wrong--the Crohn's was causing the diarrhea, and TPN was used for bowel rest). Wrong... all wrong!!

Graham and I went to work together, and a girl got out of her boyfriend's car, and we saw the tattoo on her lower back. We looked at each other and said, "Must be a CNA."

Graham told me about a funny experience he had on the streets of Brem Brem. He was filling up the car with gas when he saw this old (think early 90's) Ford Festiva, or a similar car, pull up to a bunch of teenage kids. He thought the chick driving knew the kids, but no.. She yells out to the teeangers, "Guess who just became a CNA?!" (Imagine a WT chick yelling this.. Graham does a perfect impression.)

Anyways, sorry CNA's...

5 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

hahahahahahahahahaha I'm sorry. That was great. Why would she yell it to them? haha

Sue said...

Random yelling? Who gets to see these priceless gems of BT?

Jacob said...

Too many losers in the medical field. Of course not you....

Tyler said...

Unfortunately Graham doesn't have to try too hard, it kinda sorta comes naturally. Speaking of, he just called me so I should call him back. Do CNAs now rank worse than PAs?

Tyler said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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