What do the holidays mean to you?

I've said before that our finances have been pretty tight living off my salary alone.. We just DON'T have extra money floating around. We had to buy a new set of tires for the XTerra, which unfortunately were not cheap, and Graham's student loans haven't come through yet for last quarter. We had to take out money from his 401K to pay for his tuition last quarter. Graham DID get a job, but we don't know when his first paycheck will arrive.

It's been rough with so many events this month: my birthday, our anniversary, my dad's birthday, my nephew's birthday, a baby shower, a wedding, etc... I coud literally spend half of my paycheck on other people. So, this has been our plan for the holidays this year: prioritize gift giving (sorry friends who got married over the summer--your invitations are still on our fridge with the hope of buying you something someday.. Tyler.. this means you), buy my birthday gift late, celebrate our 2nd anniversary when our tax refund hopefully comes next year, buy small gifts only for the other people in our life, and perhaps celebrating Christmas in a different way.

And faced with a giftless Christmas, I started feeling really down and I started investigating exactly WHY the thought of no gifts depresses me.

Buying something I know someone wants brings me joy. Not being able to afford anything brings me sadness.

The holidays are about giving.. Does it have to mean giving gifts?

Maybe it's about spending time with family and giving your time to be with them.

Maybe it's about appreciating what you have and not agonizing over the things you don't have. I guess it could be about giving thanks..

I guess this year, Christmas is all about hope. When Christ was born, people all around the world could feel the hope that His birth would somehow change the world..

I can feel hope for the future, but it's just hard right now.

Old

I don't know why, but this birthday really really makes me feel old.

27

I feel ancient!!

Oh, and thanks if you wished me a happy birthday. I definitely felt loved.

I feel like an idiot

So yesterday, I was in the public bathroom innocently bending over to pick up some papers, when


WHAMMMM

I slammed my head into the tampon/pad metal box on the wall while standing back up at full force


I literally saw stars and thought I was going to black out

I have a massive bump on my head to prove it

Oh, and there were 2 witnesses to my stupidity

One can only hope I get some kind of compensation from Workers' Comp... Or at least a helmet.

Thanks

Since I haven't done one of these posts before, I'll just give you a list of things I'm thankful for.. even though it's late:



1) Graham

2) Family

3) Pointy-toed shoes

4) Drew-fit pants at The Limited

5) Santitas and Pace salsa

6) Super Wal-Mart prices

7) Jeans

8) Career and education

9) Down comforters

10) Comcast DVR

11) Wusthof knives

12) Umbrellas

13) iPod car adaptor

14) The calendar feature on my phone

15) The movie "Elf"

16) Piano music

17) Fridays

18) Sun

19) Clicky pens

20) Christmas decorations

Happy holidays everyone

Even More Good News

Due to one of my co-worker's resignation.. I will no longer work weekends!! I mean, she'll be missed and all, but this is a huge plus.

I will only be working on weekends if my other co-workers cannot work their scheduled Saturday/Sunday shifts.

Hallelujah!!

Although this now means I have no excuse for not going to church every week...

Good News

I have good news ladies and gentleman...








When I called to tell my parents, the first thing my dad asked, "You're expecting?!"

No.. that's not it.


Anyways, I've been stressing a little because of Graham's school situation. He attends a junior college that has a bachelor's program in engineering, but the program is crappy, non-accredited, and poorly planned. Because of limited class options, it would take him another 5 years to get his degree. So, we've been looking everywhere in WA for engineering programs, since we're residents now.

Washington State in Pullman... good program, no jobs for me.

University of Washington in Seattle.. ok program, job availability, expensive cost of living..

Washington state in Vancouver... good program, low cost of living, better job availability with thr proximity to POrtland and all..

So we were thinking, Vancouver is cheaper to live at, closer to family, etc.. One catch.. Actually 2... I'd have to find a job down there, preferably in WA to avoid state income taxes. Then, I'd have to find a job AGAIN in our town after Graham gets done with his school because Graham wants to get a guaranteed job out of college with a government agency. So... that would be taking a risk there..

But we just found out this week that Washington State is bringing their bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering to our little junior college because of the high demand for engineers in the area, and because we're an underserved population.

So.. we'll be here permanently for at least 6-10 more years. Maybe it's not so good news after all when I put it like that...

Addiction

I don't even know what to blog about anymore. I barely blog, so I can't write about all of the stupid little things that happen to me that are funny.. which is what I like to write about.

Anyways, I'm going to blog about addiction. There are so many things out there that can cause addiction, and I recently realized I had a problem.

I have one. I am a recovering shopaholic.

It's taken me a long time to realize this. At BYU, I would shop weekly at Nordstrom and Banana Republic. I bought purses, sunglasses, outfits, designer jeans, and pointy-toed shoes. It helped fill the void in my life and made me feel better about myself. I would compare myself to other girls and think, well, at least I'm wearing expensive jeans. I would hit a major low when I actually would go shopping to find something specific and not be able to find a single clothing item. I would geta new outfit for all kinds of occasions, first date, first makeout, birthday, Easter, etc. When I moved to Portland, I started to like even more expensive clothes like BCBG.

Then, I met Graham and that void was filled... But the desire to shop has never gone away. I used to enjoy window shopping, but that just increased the size of the list of things I want in my head. I used to get emails from all of my favorite stores, like BR, JCrew, Macys, Nordstrom, etc, but it only made it worse.

So now, since we're strapped for cash.. I just have to suck it up and not shop or even look at clothes online. It has been really hard for me to deal with this addiction. But, when I look at my bills, it makes it just a little bit easier for me to overcome...