A monumental, life-changing event

I did something so... monumental... yesterday that I have to announce it to the world. It's something I thought I would never be able to do..

I know you're thinking, wait.. I thought she already got married.

But no... (drum roll please)

I swallowed a pill.

Clarification: 4 halves of two pills. Big pills.

I even felt them get stuck in my throat, but I didn't even gag.

I am now an adult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shopaholic

Is it wrong for me to want to buy a new outfit every now and then.. Every 6 months or so? I am a reformed shopaholic, but I can't say I've gotten rid of the urge to splurge.



I did something yesterday that I normally never do... I opened an email about a sale at Banana Republic, my favorite store. I started looking at their shirts (NOT the ones on sale), and I got a really bad itch to do some online shopping. I picked out a shirt and sweater that I liked.. and I thought I could talk Graham into letting me buy them because of how cute I'd look in them.

He doesn't like it. Whatever! What does a girl gotta do to buy an outfit around here?

It's not like Graham controls our spending, but we're just trying to be wise about our purchases. Do any of you have any good ideas on how I can convince Graham to let me buy these shirts?

Admit it ladies...

You have all wondered what marriage would be like to another man (or maybe you have wondered what marriage is like in general)..

So I'm going to give you a glimpse of what it's like to be married to Graham.. because I'm not sure any of you experience what I do.. I don't want to air our dirty laundry or anything, so don't be afraid to read.

Graham is goofy. I like that about him. He says and does some things that make me laugh and say, "you're silly", or I give him the quizzical eyebrow look.

Case in point: He does karate down the hall and will often do side rolls to impress me.

Graham is forgetful with things he needs to do. Sometimes it's cute... sometimes it's not.

Case in point: The time we received our power bill in the mail that said, "pay this bill or we will shut your utilities off." Graham had been getting the mail in his car for months, stuffing it in the storage bin between the seats, and forgetting about the mail altogether.

Graham does klutzy things.. which usually means we have to laugh about it later, because he may have destroyed a couple of our household items.

Case in point: It was icy yesterday morning when we went to church. Graham had a glass of juice in his hand, and when he unlocked the car, he put it on the top of the icy car. When he looked back up, the glass was sliding towards the other side of the car and broke as it hit the ground.

Graham is incredibly loving and generous with his time.

Case in point: Yesterday when he was playing his video games and I was reading a magazine, he turned to me and said, "I love you so much.. I don't think I tell you enough." Then, he played SingStar with me.. willingly.

Graham (and like most newly married men) likes to walk around au natural.

Case in point: I found him trying to fix the computer under our desk... naked. Not the most flattering view.

Graham is a wonderful leader in our home and outside of our home.

Case in point: He drives around investigators in our ward, he leads basketball practices at church, he's a semi-manager at his work, and he encourages me to go to church when I don't want to go or when I'm having a "fat day".

Graham accepts responsibility well.

Case in point: Graham and I have a deal. I cook, he does the dishes. Sometimes, like this weekend, I go on a cooking frenzy and use almost every pan or bowl in the house.. He doesn't complain and he gets it done.

Graham is very attractive.

Case in point: All of the men after him, and the older ladies in my new ward who told me, "If Graham was single when I was single, wooo.. I would've been after him."

Anyways, I don't mean to brag, but Graham, despite his faults and his shortcomings, is the best husband ever (at least for me). Oh gosh. This was meant to be funny, but it ended up being more sappy than funny. Sorry if you had to choke back vomit while reading this.. :)

Nurse's Aides

Otherwise known as CNA's.

Disclaimer: I am only presenting a stereotype we find here at the hospital. I'm sure.. ok maybe not sure.. that there are CNA's that are not like the people I'm going to complain about. Also, I could not be a CNA. Even thinking about helping someone wipe their own butt, or cleaning up after barf and urine make me ill. I could not do their job at all.

So, with all of that said..

The CNA's in my hospital are usually white trash (WT)... and even worse.. sometimes Brem Brem Trash (BT). They are a distinctive class of employees in the hospital, and you can usually tell the difference between RN's and CNA's. CNA's often have bad teeth, bad pronunciation of words, overuse of swear words in the professional setting, stories of police calls for domestic violence, and a general pretense of medical knowledge.

I heard one CNA say this one patient had dystentery (wrong--he had a flare-up of Crohn's disease), and that he was on TPN (nutrition by IV), which causes diarrhea (wrong--the Crohn's was causing the diarrhea, and TPN was used for bowel rest). Wrong... all wrong!!

Graham and I went to work together, and a girl got out of her boyfriend's car, and we saw the tattoo on her lower back. We looked at each other and said, "Must be a CNA."

Graham told me about a funny experience he had on the streets of Brem Brem. He was filling up the car with gas when he saw this old (think early 90's) Ford Festiva, or a similar car, pull up to a bunch of teenage kids. He thought the chick driving knew the kids, but no.. She yells out to the teeangers, "Guess who just became a CNA?!" (Imagine a WT chick yelling this.. Graham does a perfect impression.)

Anyways, sorry CNA's...

I still got it

After you got married, have you found yourself thinking that you've changed.. maybe mellowed out a bit or not become as funny?

I'm not gonna lie.. I've felt that way. I feel like I'm dull or like nobody gets my jokes anymore. It's hard for me to be sarcastic at work because not everybod understands that I'm being sarcastic. Awkward.

But, I received confirmation that I am still quick-witted.. and somewhat funny.

Our friends here in Brem Brem were talking about the time we first met at the ward picnic. This guy Jacob was talking about cows for some reason, and he said, "Man.. everything that comes from a cow is delicious.."

To which I replied, "Well.. manure and cow pies come from cows.. are those delicious?"

Apparently, his wife thinks it's pretty funny that this is the only time that Jacob hasn't been able to think of a witty comeback.. I "punked" him, if you will.

I still got... a little.

I got drunk this weekend

And by drunk.. I mean "sleep drunk".

I'm the type of person who becomes really loopy when I'm tired. And since my bedtime is currently around 9:30 PM.. I frequently get tired on weekends when we're hanging out with friends. Meaning... I get sleep drunk and crazy around other people.

Usually only Graham sees my loopy crazy side, when I speak with foreign accents and when I do karate down the hallway.

Unfortunately, some of our friends have now been exposed to the drunken Sherri.

Friday night... it wasn't even that late (maybe 8:30), but Graham was trying to bug me by pushing my head away with a straight arm, like in football. So I fell on the ground or something (the details are kind of hazy), and started pushing Graham away with my leg, like Stewart from MadTV does. I started giggling hysterically, and could not stop. It wasn't even THAT funny. I kept saying, "noooooo" like Stewart, which only made it worse.

Saturday night, same friends, earlier time.. We were drinking this soda called "Wild Raspberry", and I renamed it (in a wacky voice), "Wild Waspbewy". For some reason, that caught my fancy, and I giggled/laughed about it for the rest of the night... even when we went to a different house with different friends. I kept saying weird things the whole night, and kept thinking all of my jokes were hilarious. My friend's husband said I was a sleep drunk... and I agree. I am WACKY when I am tired.

Cool story right.

Something Interesting Happened

Why did I have to tempt fate and say that my life is boring?

So Graham went to play church basketball last night at 9:30. My bedtime is around that time (I wake up at 5:45 every day UGH), so I was almost asleep when he left.

I woke up a couple hours later to Graham saying, "Sherri, Sherri.. Wake up! I think I'm going into anaphylactic shock!!"

For those of you that don't know what that means, it means his allergic reaction is causing hives (even in his mouth) and his airway to constrict... meaning he could die if his airways don't relax. Last time this happened to him (before we got married), he went to the emergency room looking like Will Smith in the movie, Hitch, where his face is all swollen and disgusting. The doctors told him he only had about 30 minutes to live at that stage.

So I was FREAKING out! We found some of our emergency allergy stash... some Benadryl, prednisone, and Zyrtec. Luckily, the hives and swelling went down, he could breathe easier, and he got a blessing from one of our friends.

Anyways, that livened up my life a bit... but not in a good way. I was crying practically because I couldn't imagine my life without Graham in it. Scary.

So, I promise I will not say my life is boring again.

Oh, and what caused the allergic reaction, you might ask.

A used basketball jersey.

Boring

I'm sorry guys.. My blog has gotten boring. And there's no cure!

Anyways, I have stories about Christmas and New Years Eve, but I'm tired and it all seems boring to me.

So.. I'm taking a break from blogging until something interesting pops up.

Maybe you'll miss me....