This just can't be summer love..

So, um.. Yeah. I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it! (Thanks Buddy)

Long story, but since I last wrote in my blog... My freaking family--who cannot keep a secret to save their lives--caused a major snowball (i.e. a WEDDING) to start rolling down the hill. Anyways, I've been really excited and nervous, and very very emotional for a couple of days.

One night I couldn't sleep I was so excited..

The next evening, I was bawling my eyes out because I was so scared due to irrational fears.

Since then, I've been looking at wedding stuff like 24/7. I've been much more calm and excited.. just a little nervous.

Graham is going to propose in the next few weeks.. He's been planning it, and is keeping it a secret. Usually I can get anything out of him, but he's holding it in.. I hope the engagement is a good story! Knowing us, something will go wrong... Hahahaha.

We went and got our ring sizes the other day. I TRIED ON RINGS. Weird!!! I have ugly fingers. I want to take a picture just like this one.. once I have my ring. Just to show how cool I was... excuse me--how cool I am. And.. you know.. Once I get my ring, I'll take a picture just like this one to compare.

I am thinking of reception ideas.. I am thinking of like an Old Hollywood look--like black, cream, silver (or a metallic taupe?), and burgundy for a pop of color. I love the look of this tablecloth and runner. Don't like the flowers though.

I want things to look classy, like looking back at old black and white photographs. Anybody have ideas?

On the light side, Graham came over to my house last week looking like this.. He has the dorkiest pants he wears for work, and I hate them. See how much clothing affects a person's look!

All right kids.. Exciting times!

The big M

So, Graham and I have been discussing being together.... for the rest of eternity.

Does/did this not freak everyone else out???!!?!?!?!?

I have gone through an emotional roller coaster already.. don't know if I can handle much more. It makes me excited, overwhelmed, nervous, HAPPY... all at once. It's just way too much to take!

Anyways, I went to Graham's house on Sunday and used his laptop while he was taking a shower or something. I was pulling up my blog website (you know... shewishewi) when "shaneco.com" shows up in the website line.. Like he looked at it in the past couple of days!

My heart started RACING like crazy, and I couldn't stop smiling. Graham was looking at rings for me! It's just hard for me to believe that some guy thinks of me in that way. Really, like.. he wants to MARRY me. Me!

I've been hoping and waiting for something like this my whole life, and now that it's here... I'm afraid.. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision. I absolutely know he's the one for me, but.. I cannot get rid of that seed of doubt. I know where doubt and fear come from, and they're not helping me at all...

Anyways, don't worry... nothing will happen for a couple of months at least.. Stay tuned.....

My recent life

So guys.. I've been working for a dietitian who has her own business.. This means I've been able to work from home for the past week and a half. It has been heavenly..

This is my schedule:
6:30 Wake up, look at the clock, and close my eyes again
7:30 Wake up again and lay in my bed until 8
8:00 Turn on TV and laptop
8:30-11:00 Play on internet, do work, shower, eat, etc..
11:00-3:00 Internet, TV, more work, Dr. Pepper, etc
3-3:30 Talk to Graham
3:30-5:00 Play on internet and work while Graham takes a nap
5-6:00 Make dinner
6-6:30 Eat dinner
6:30-11:00 Play w/ Graham, check email, read scriptures, take a walk, etc
11-11:30 Say goodbye to Graham
11:30 Sleep

It's a tough life, but someone's gotta do it!

Wtf?

I was just watching "The Hills", and one of the girls said out loud, "w-t-f".

Ok, that is just something you joke about--saying stuff like "l-o-l", or "s-t-f-u" instead of saying the actual words.. It's freaking retarded!

Anyways, I'm also going to complain about the commercial.. I think it's for ditech? You know, the one where they say, "people are smart".

Ok, I hate to say this, but people are NOT smart! (Look at my first sentence.) Is ditech just trying to butter people up or do they really think people are smart?

So yeah, that's my life.. I've been working from home and watching TV.. It's been lovely.

Friends

You know.. I was looking at some random chick's pictures on facebook, and there were a bunch of pictures of her and her friends.. It made me REALLY miss my friends.

I mean, I had my 5 years in Utah, I had my chances to really have fun with friends and enjoy the college life...

But now it's different. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with my life. I have a great boyfriend who makes me laugh, and I'm doing well in my internship and school, but sometimes.. I just wish I could be back in Provo....

All of my friends live in far-away places. I see them maybe 3-4 times a year. I don't have many girlfriends up here in Portland..

Ok, I have like 4: my roommates and friends from school.

I miss the closeness of Provo, just like being able to see your friend in 5 minutes, and being able to hang out with all of your closest friends.

Anyways, friends---I LOVE YOU and miss you!!

Freaked Out

So, yesterday.. I got a headache around 3 PM, probably because I was sitting weird or holding my head strangely in an interview.. I never get headaches, so that sucked, especially since I can't swallow pills. By 11 PM, it was still there..

I fell asleep reading a book, probably around 12:30 or so. I woke up at 1:30 with my head absolutely pounding. I tried massaging it out of my neck, relaxing, closing my eyes, but nothing seemed to help.

Tons of scary thoughts started running through my mind. A brain tumor makes sense--I've been dizzy lately, my left eye is red and inflamed, and now I have a pounding headache.

My mind capitalized on the possibility of having a brain tumor. I'd have to quit school, go through radiation or chemo, and probably not be able to start working for years. I'd be really poor since my insurance sucks.. One amusing thought that I had was that I'd probably lose weight. See why I'm crazy?

I started crying because it hurt so bad, so finally after 30 minutes, I decided to go to Walgreens. It wasn't open. Seriously, aren't they all open 24 hours?? Anyways, luckily the grocery store right by me is open 25 hours. In your face Walgreens.

I got some motrtin and water.. 5 minutes later, it was gone. I texted Graham about it, because I had seriously considered calling him to come give me a blessing, even though he lives a half hour away. Poor guy--he was up an hour afterwards worrying about me with the same crazy thoughts I had.

So, that's just an example of how my mind works and how I one day might possibly worry myself to death.

For Whitney

This is for you Whit, since you told me to put some pictures of Graham up here... when, if you look.. there are some on previous blogs... :)

These are the most recent.

The bottom picture is from when Graham and I went hiking at a place called Kah-nee-ta hot springs in Oregon. We both got extremely sunburned, if you didn't notice how pasty I am.. Graham also treated me to as facial there. It was very relaxing..

The top two pictures are from our trip to Seattle for Graham's birthday. Since he likes flying, I took him to the Boeing Future of Flight museum in Everett. We then took a walk around one of the lakes in the area (or it could've been part of Puget Sound?) and talked about the stuff we wished we could do if we had money, like visiting Victoria, British Columbia, taking a ride in a sea-plane, or going to Disneyland.. We topped off the day with the Red Sox vs. Mariners game. Chili cheese nachos for me, footlong hot dog for him. What a night.

I do have a funny story about "chili".. We were at a restaurant, and Graham and I were talking about our choices. I mentioned that one of the items he liked was a vegetarian dish. He was like, "huh.. I thought there was meat in it.. It says 'chile'." Oh Graham.

Oh and btw, Graham does not wear sweaters like that. He tried it on, so I had to take a picture because he looked so good.

Food Snob?

It's no surprise.. I'm obsessed with food (check out my "guilty pleasures" in previous blog).. I talk about food all day with patients, I think about calorie trade-offs and recipes throughout the day, and I love to plan menus.

I have come to the realization lately that I'm becoming a food snob. Not a foodie--I really don't cook fancy stuff--just a snob.

Graham and I went grocery shopping the other day together. Graham.. oh poor Graham.. doesn't have many cooking skills, and doesn't have much of a discerning palate, so his purchases were as follows: white bread, hot dogs, pop-tarts, australian muffins (they're supposedly like english muffins), and hot dog buns. I was totally grossed out. I've tried to help him, but.. what can I say? He likes his American food. He likes canned vegetables and fruit, which have no nutritional value at all.. You might as well just eat poop.

Mind you.. One time Graham offered to "make" me dinner at his house. He got out BOXED Asian food, similar to ramen. I took one look and said, uh.. we're going out.

**Granted, Graham has made me real food before (i.e. lasagna, fried chicken, frostbitten hamburgers, etc), but this was disgusting. It reminds me of another time that he offered to bring home some take-out... and he came home with crusty fried chicken, corn dogs, and some jo jo's (fried potatoes) from Safeway's deli. You should've seen my face. We laugh about this a lot.**

So now, I plan the meals.. he helps me make them.

Anyways, that's my blogggggg. I might update later this week, but I am going home this weekend, and need to prepare to that. So, hold your buns folks--it might be another week until I blog again.