One of those days..

So, today was just one of those days.. Ugh.

I realized on the way home from work today that my car was "broken into" (i.e. Graham left the doors unlocked) last night. My Bluetooth connector and my CD's were stolen, and some random things like my YMCA daycare punchcard.

Then, I stubbed my toe on Graham's weight set when I was trying to take pictures of my Stitch Fix clothes. Hard. Ouch.

And, the pictures did NOT turn out well. I'm debating whether or not to even post them because they are so hideous and I don't look good in them. I ended up ditching my timed DSLR camera for bathroom selfies on my iPhone. Yikes.

So anyways, I'm kind of in a funk today/tonight, so I don't know when I'll next post about whatever I've been up to.

And yes, I survived my camping trip!

Camping

So, we are going camping this week for the first time in over 4 hours. Last time we went, I was pregnant, it rained, and drunk people kept us up all night. It was not fun. I am a bit apprehensive because let's face it, I'm kind of an indoorsy person. I don't like being dirty, I don't like public showers, and I don't like wildlife.

We are going to a campground near Bend, Oregon. It's near a lake and stuff, so we should be playing in the water a lot. We are also planning on floating the Deschutes River around Bend, something I've been wanting to do since my family first visited Bend in 2005. Here's a picture of it, courtesy of Sun Country Tours.



Anyways, I am not really excited to camp, but I am excited to have days off work. Hallelujah. I have literally gone into work 16 days in a row. I am DONE with this place! So, I won't be back until Sunday, so hold on tight until then.

Journal update

So, I spent ALL of Friday night typing up old journal entries that I thought were funny or interesting enough to put on future blogs. I was at the computer for over four hours typing this crap up. Hopefully, it'll be worth it! Some of the categories I'm thinking about writing about include the following:

• Flirting
• Attracting the opposite sex
• Self-reflection
• Marriage
• What I want in a guy
• Personality traits
• "Positive" self-talk
• Physical intimacy (this one is a little sketchy.. I've had to edit and cut a lot of things out)
• First date(s) and first kiss

Is there anything else I should include? Any topics that you guys would like to hear about? First love? Spiritual stuff? College stuff?

So, I also did a trial run of a vlog of a journal entry about a date I had, just to see how it'd turn out, even though I didn't shower this morning and I'm dressed in junk clothes.

This pretty much illustrates it:

And, if you don't know me very well, you wouldn't know I have a very expressive face. I was cracking up watching myself talk because I pull some weird facial expressions.

Mortifying Myself

So, like I said, I might do a regular installment on my blog with some excerpts from my old journal entries.

I can't find my journal from elementary school and junior high, so these journal entries start in 9th grade when I was 15 years old. This was in January 1998. And honestly, if you read my journal from high school, you would have NO idea what kind of person I was. I was an honors student, a cheerleader, active church goer, sister, youth cheerleading coach, and good friend. Would you know any of that by reading these journal entries about endless names of boys, boys, and more boys? No. Ugh. So, here is 15 year-old me in all my teenage awkwardness. As my friend Hila said, this is wonderful, cringe-inducing awesomeness.

Here's not a bad picture of me from freshman year with my date and ex "boyfriend", Jack. I am almost 15 in this picture.

I'm going to start out with an entry about my freshman year crush named Ben. He was a tall boy that played basketball that was in my geometry class. He might have thought I was cute, but we definitely did not go on a date or out together at any point in time. Although, as I recollect our relationship, he was one of the boys who called me Mrs. Ed and wrote about my teeth in my senior yearbook. This is taken word for word, just to show you my thought process as a teen girl.

"Well, Ben is still my boyfriend.. and I love him as much as ever. Everyone on the internet loves me, so why can't Ben? We're good enough friends, we know each other, I'm not ugly, etc... I guess some things are just not meant to be. That sux in my case. I really love Ben, zits and all. He is so cute when I look at him. When other people look at him, they probably just see a big, nice, friendly guy. That's how I used to see him. Now, I see the real him: GREAT personality, cute, sweet, everything I have wanted in a guy. I think he is one of the most perfect boyfriends you could have, and he even won't try to take advantage of you. Cool! He's my kinda guy. Well, I've been thinking: I wanna get married to Eric (not ___) b-cuz he is so nice and cute! Well, gottsta go. C-ya."

The reason why I took this one word for word is to show you how shallow my entries are, and just how quickly I went from Ben to Eric (who I don't even remember) in the same entry. Also, see my online speak, such as b-cuz, gottsta, and c-ya. And can we also call attention to the comment about the people on the internet? This was in the time of AOL and Instant Messenger, and I had online "friends". In fact, I talked to many of the guys I mention on my journal on AIM.

Next up on my Mortifying Myself section: learning if I was actually attractive to the opposite sex or not.

"I don't like being sweet 16 and never been kissed! So come to me Brian!"

Natural Disposition

Get ready for one random blog post. Graham has now started working double shifts on Fridays, which means he works from 3 PM - 8 AM. It is nice for us because he is now practically full-time, but is only gone 4 nights a week. But it also means that I'm alone all Friday nights with things to ponder (total flashback to Zoolander here).. And so, I've felt particularly inspired to blog tonight. Yes, I know not many people really follow my blogs with much anticipation, but I still really like to write about my thoughts, feelings, and my normal life activities. It provides a nice outlet. However, I won't be writing too long tonight because I just started a new book (The Giver, if you're interested).

Speaking of providing an outlet for expression, has anybody heard of the documentary and movement called "Mortified Nation"? It's where people stand up in front of strangers and read old journal entries from their childhood. Now I have some pretty embarrassing journal entries from childhood and my teen years. This documentary inspired me to read some of my old journals. Should I post some excerpts of previous journal entries? What do you think? Do you think it'd be fun to read?

Anyways, I felt inspired to write tonight after mine and Carter's visit to the park tonight. This is an interesting park because there's a diverse socioeconomic population of children and families that play at the park. So, there's some pretty good people watching going on there. For example, there was a group of goth teens, a political fundraiser with elderly people, and a couple of young families. There was a single dad there with his two boys. The younger boy was maybe 4 or 5 years old, and was sitting in one of the swings that is for babies and young kids. He was stuck and no one was pushing him, so he kept repeating, "shit shit shit". I was dying inside, trying not to crack up, and a little glad that it wasn't my kid cursing like a sailor at the park. Anyways, there was a little 2 or 3 year old kid just crying at the side of the park. Carter took notice, and approached him a couple of times to see if he was ok. I was honestly so proud inside of my little, empathetic, observant boy. I got a little teary-eyed just thinking about my sweet boy. He was the only kid at the park who noticed this sad little boy, and tried to help him. It was just a natural instinct in him.

This got me thinking about Carter's natural disposition. Since birth, he has a been a fairly easygoing child with a sweet disposition. Every where Carter goes, people always tell me what an awesome, well-behaved, mild-mannered child he is. I tell them that he's just naturally this way. He is cautious, kind of like me, and empathetic and sweet, like Graham. He apparently helps others without being asked, which is like both of us. How much of what characteristics does he have that are inborn versus learned behaviors? Are children born to be a certain way, and as parents, we just need to do our best to not screw them up? I am unbelievably lucky to be Carter's mom, and I think of it every day. Sometimes I am just inexplicably filled with joy and gratitude when I just look at him or when he says something adorable (which is often). It's always nice to get reminders of how blessed I am.

I am in very dangerous territory right now. I am looking at old family pictures on the computer, and I'm getting more baby hungry by the moment. Can we take just a second to appreciate these photos while I go cry myself to sleep because my baby boy is way too grown up??

I only posted this one because it's a reminder of how far I've come with weight loss. This is obviously before I lost any weight. Yikes!!