Loneliness

So, it's been interesting dealing with the side effects from having an opposite schedule than Graham. We still sleep in the same bed from 10:30 PM-5:00 AM, with a very brief chat when he gets home, and a brief one when he drops Carter off at my work at 2:30 PM. We have weekends together sometimes when I'm not working and Wednesday evenings, but it's been difficult to not have someone to come home to. I'm not much of a talker, but now that I don't have it, I realize what I'm missing.

Usually, I have friends at work to kind of curb the loneliness, but that hasn't been available lately. As I've mentioned before, I had some drama at work earlier this year. It had nothing to do with my job, but more like a friend from work. She and I had a major falling out, and now she and her husband can't even hardly look at me in the eye. I was friends with both of them and enjoyed talking with them at work, and now I've lost two friends. It's been almost 6 months, and only today did it really hit me how much it has affected me to lose friends, especially ones that helped me through hard times. I've been angry and sad about it, and I can't do anything more to make it better.

I'm not a phone talker, so that doesn't really make me feel better. I used to kill the loneliness with shopping, but I've really been cutting back on that a lot. So now, I'm fully feeling my emotions more than ever. I guess I just have to learn to deal with it like an adult..