Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Graham's war on terror

Ok, so the title is a bit dramatic, but this story is just too funny to NOT tell.

So, as you may remember, Graham has a tendency to attract other males in the past. More recently though, Graham has been complaining for a few weeks about a male librarian at school that has been "creeping" (his words, not mine) on him in the library. He stares at Graham while he is studying, peers at him over the library counter while pretending to work, and sneaks looks at him through the bookcases. Graham has been really annoyed by this guy's behavior, and has been tempted to confront this guy to ask him what his problem is.

So, yesterday, the guy was staring at Graham again in the library. Graham wisely decided to not confront or beat up the individual, but decided to fight this guy in a different manner-- a "drive-by". Graham farted loudly in the library, stuck around long enough to make sure that it smelled, and then gave the librarian a look as he booked it out of the library. As Graham said, "he knows that I know he knows I did it on purpose".

When Graham told me this story, I laughed hysterically for like 5 minutes and didn't think this story could be any more funny...

Until today...

So, Graham was telling his study group at school about this situation, as they all know about Graham's creeper, and apparently Graham's admirer was eavesdropping on the conversation. He heard Graham say that he told his wife the story, and he poked his head around the corner and said, "Oh wait--you're married?? I knew you weren't gay yesterday, but now I know you're married and straight."

Graham: "Yeah, I'm married... what made you think I'm gay?"

Creeper: "The shoes you're wearing.."

Graham: "Yeah, my wife dresses me.. So my strategy worked yesterday?"

Creeper: "Yeah it was definitely a turn-off."

Let me post a picture with Graham's shoes:
Those are just plain Skechers. Maybe a little on the side of "metro", but not gay (at least by my standards).

Life lesson from Graham: when you don't know what do to when you face opposition, just fart loudly and walk away.

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