Pregnancy Life

Well ladies and gentlemen,

I have not completely abandoned my blog here. I thought about it, sure, but I kind of want to keep this thing going 10+ years (just 6-7 more months to go until I hit my 10-year anniversary!). I also like to occasionally publicly journal my life, activities, and feelings, just to get them out there and make me feel better. I don't really keep a journal anymore..

Anyways, I just wanted to kind of get some things out that I've been thinking a lot about lately. Obviously, I've been pregnant for the past seven months... and it hasn't been easy. It's weird. We planned to try for our second child when Graham got back from Virginia, and BOOM, we were pregnant within the month. Almost too easy, right? I wasn't as crazy about taking home pregnancy tests as I was the first time around (I only took three tests this time, as opposed to like seven or more the first time), but it was like suspiciously easy. I'm not used to things going like I planned.

Then, Graham went through training for his job. To put it plainly, he works for the government and military, and had to do lots of on-site training. He had to work day shift, swing shift, and graveyard, for various weeks at a time. This sucked as I had planned on commuting with him daily. I'd drop him off, drop Carter off, and go to work, and then repeat on the way home. Plus, it meant I was alone in the mornings/evenings/nights, depending on the shift he was working. Then, he passed his qualification exam for work with flying colors (yay!) in November.. and he started working overtime immediately (10-12 hour days, 5-7 days per week). So again, back to doing things myself while pregnant.

In December, Graham signed up for the opportunity to work in San Diego in January. So, off he went for originally a four-week trip, which turned into almost six weeks of 12 hour nights, 6-7 nights per week. I think he had one or two days off during the six weeks?? While the money was a big blessing, again, I had to be on my own. Luckily we were able to schedule our anatomy scan the day before he left so Graham could be there when we found out we were having a girl--oh yeah, we're having a baby girl! January was rough because I was not prepared at all. I had no freezer meals, so Carter and I dined out a lot more than normal. Carter: "You mean we're going out to eat on a Wednesday??"

Not to mention in December, we went through a rough patch because Graham got off schedule due to his crazy work hours, and stopped taking his anxiety pills for several days, leading to a panic attack, irrational behavior, and withdrawal from meds. So scary and heartbreaking. It made me a little paranoid and crazy for a while after things got back on track. This happening during pregnancy only made things worse because of my hormones. I mean seriously, I'm not moody.. I'm just a little LOT more anxious while pregnant. Hearing what other pregnant women have gone through, though, has helped me a lot to know I'm not the only one. I've cried because I thought I was going to have go on meds. One good thing that has happened through all this time is that Graham and I have paid off all of our consumer debt in January (except for our cars--oh yeah, my XTerra died in February and we had to buy a new car AFTER putting $1100 of repairs into the XTerra--UGGHGHHGHGH).

On to February.. Graham went back to 12 hour days.. then was notified that starting at the end of the month, he'd be on graveyard shift for 120 days.. basically, until the baby is born. So, 9 PM to 5:30 AM wouldn't have been so bad, as we'd see him in the morning before work, see him for dinner and bedtime.. But now, he's one of the most senior employees in his shift, and he'll be working 12-hour nights (5:30 PM to 6 AM), 6-7 days a week for the next six weeks until baby arrives (due date May 30th). We see him for about 45 minutes per day. It sucks so much. Carter is a total daddy's boy, so he's super clingy with Graham whenever he sees him. Luckily, Graham is a great father and husband, so he helps around the house and has put together the nursery when Carter and I have been out of the house.

Oh, and Carter and I got rear-ended on the last day of March! Our car has been in the shop for over two weeks now, we had to get a new carseat, and I've been seeing a chiropractor that specializes in pregnancy adjustments. Again, luckily, we weren't seriously hurt, but it's been a massive inconvenience and source of stress. Then, this last week, I had a massive headache, and my blood pressure went up significantly. I'm not a hypochondriac, and I hate getting checked out when there's nothing wrong with me, but my doctor's office told me to go into Labor & Delivery to be checked out. So, I left work early, went into L&D, woke Graham up after only two hours of sleep, and got hooked up to blood pressure monitors to rule out pre-eclampsia. NOPE--nothing wrong. No protein in my urine, and my blood pressure wasn't even mildly elevated while lying down. So, the doctor there prescribed a couple days of rest from work.. And here I am today--with normal blood pressure but still feeling like crap. Pregnancy insomnia is the WORST.

So yeah, this is a total whiny post. Yes, there are unemployed people out there, or people who are salaried and don't get paid for overtime, so I shouldn't complain.. except I'm pregnant. And basically, I've been going through it alone. Props to single moms and women out there. I'm not cut out for this. There is light at the end of the tunnel--maternity leave. It's not a vacation, but hey.. I'll take it. 12 weeks of it. Ah yeah.