Monday, April 13, 2015

Emotional Flashback

I apologize for the long absence. I've been suuuuper lazy. It's kind of exhausting to do this solo parenting thing with a new house and working full-time. When I put Carter to bed at 8:30 PM, I immediately go to bed. I might play on Instagram or Facebook after that, but that's it. Blogging hasn't been one of my top priorities.

Anyways, life hasn't been too interesting. I drop Carter off at daycare, I work, pick Carter up, work out, and sleep. That is my life.

I did have a flashback the other today to an event almost two years ago when Graham and I were separating. Carter and I were dropping off Graham at the ferry terminal that he was taking to Seattle. From there, he was going to take a Bolt Bus that goes straight from Seattle to Portland, to go live with his parents. I remember the bittersweet moment dropping him off at the ferry terminal, my eyes clouded by tears, saying, "I'll love you forever." At that moment, I didn't know if we'd ever be together again. It's one of the memories that'll forever live clearly in my mind.

When I was driving home from my sister's house in Seattle on Thursday, a Bolt bus passed me (the first one I've actually ever seen!), and I completely burst into tears. The feeling of despair and misery was so strong---it was like I was re-living the past all over again. I really never ever want to feel like that again.

But, the best thing about all of this.. Life isn't like that at all. I can't have a pity party or mourn the fact that bad things have happened to me. Life is good and I have no reason to despair.

1 comment:

Nilla said...

I have moments like that too. The clarity of the moment, even after nearly a decade, can still call forth the very same emotions. So glad for your happy "ending" (or new beginning :)). Hope these days apart are going by quickly for you!

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