Thursday, April 17, 2014

Life... Ugh

I cannot believe I've somehow waited almost another month before blogging again. I swear, it doesn't feel like I wrote the last one THAT long ago. Time just kind of slips by, doesn't it?

Anyways, I've been meaning to do a family update for some time now. Carter is almost three and a half, and is seriously growing up way too fast. He says the funniest things, and is really the cutest little guy I know. He is very clever and witty, especially for a three year-old. He loves to run, play with trucks and trains, and is a total daddy's boy. Now, though, that we have 6-hour long stretches alone together at night, he has grown more attached to me. He is still pretty little (about 27 pounds, < 5th percentile), but he's finally picking up in height. He's finally wearing size 3T clothing, and even starting to grow out of those pants in height as well! He is a fairly obedient child, as long as we are being consistent in our parenting. If we set a timer for bedtime, nap time, etc, he will usually do it with no whining. His favorite time of the day is story time at bedtime, so if he doesn't want to brush his teeth, he is at risk of losing that.. so he almost never protests. He can sight-read a couple of simple words (mom, dad, dog, etc), and knows all of his letters and sounds. He is very playful, and likes to tease. He often says "I'm just messing with you.." (Obviously, something that is said very often in our house.) He's not very athletic, much to our disappointment and surprise. Graham and I are both fairly athletic and competitive people, so we'd hoped our kids would be the same. However, Carter CAN hit a ball from a tee, but he runs slow (he runs a LOT, just slow). Maybe it's because he's so small. Either way, Graham is thinking of ways to try to make him more athletic.

Let me give you an example of how clever he is:
Graham: "Carter, get your feet off that plate!"
Carter: "Ok!"
He takes his feet off the plate, but puts his left foot back on the plate.
Graham: "Carter, I told you to get your feet off the plate!"
Carter: "My FEET aren't on the plate. My FOOT is on the plate!"

Carter: "Daddy, don't do that! Don't put that there!"
Graham: "Carter, you can't tell me what to do."
Carter: "I'm not telling you what to do.. I'm telling you what NOT to do."

So anyways, Graham has been working in the evenings from 3-10 PM, 4 days a week. This means he drops Carter off at my work at 2:30PM, and I take him home for the rest of the night. I work at 6 AM almost every day now, which sucks, but it's something I have to do for my family. Carter was going to daycare for 2.5 hours 4 days a week, and full-time for one day a week. This means I am a single mom most nights of the week, which sucks. When Graham and I were separated, I dealt with this by going to the gym almost every night. Now that I've changed my workout schedule and have gone back to working out at home 3 nights a week, I've had to deal with this "single parent" situation a lot more. I can't say it's fun. I totally admire single parents. It has been super hard for me.

And, if you noticed, I said Carter WAS in daycare. And now, as of today.. he no longer is.

What is the change, you ask..

Well, we've made a very difficult life decision. If any of you faithful readers remember, Graham and I found out that that he'd have to be in school for at least three more years from last August to finish his bachelors degree in Engineering. At that time, we had a very lengthy discussion about if it was going to be worth it to continue on. I told him I'd be supportive in whatever he chose. I suggested thinking about a different path, perhaps a trade school or something, but Graham said he wanted to continue moving forward. But now, we've finally come to the decision that Graham is going to change his course and stop pursuing a bachelors degree in engineering. It's not that he's not smart enough to do it.. it's just not the right fit for what he needs. He will continue working at his evening job until he gets accepted into a program that meets his needs. There's a naval shipyard in our area that is hiring hundreds of "helper" and apprentice jobs that will be trained and educated in a certain trade and shop, whether it's as a welder, machinist, etc. There's no hurry right now, but he's applying for positions this week.

So, Graham will be home with Carter during the day, and work in the evening. I will work during the day and Carter will be home with me in the evening. I have felt for a long time that this would be a better position for him.. working in a shop, with his hands.. We just continued along the BS in Engineering route because that's what I thought he needed as a man to feel good about himself. But, since school isn't the right fit for him, I think a career that is fulfilling that pays adequately (no, we're not talking about 100K jobs here) will be enough. Yes, I will probably work for the rest of my life.. and that's ok. I'm educated and I like my job enough to keep doing it. And no, we will probably not have a big family. I'm getting old, and we can't afford another one for a while.

It's been an extremely emotional day or so, and we've let our parents know what's going on. It's been disappointing, relieving, exciting, stressful.. many many emotions.. We've cried way more than we should. Again, it's our lives, and some of you may think our decisions may not be right (and we've heard and thought both ways), but we are moving on. Whew. I'm still emotional as I type this.


Sue said...

We're with you. Difficult choices when put behind you leave you able to look forward with hope.

Shannon said...

It's hard to make big life decisions especially when they aren't the ones you thought you would make. Sounds like you are doing what is best for you and your family though, which is exactly what you should be doing!

chelsea proctor said...

Life tends to do that. You think you've got it figured out and then suddenly you know you have to take a different route. Crazy. It'll be okay :)

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