Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A story for the ages...

So, I was trying to think of a funny story from my life lately, but there hasn't been anything.

But, I did remember a hilarious story from my college days at BYU... Let me take you back... 

The year was 2003. Tisha and I (along with our roommate Meri), lived in a 2-bedroom condo complex in Provo called "Santa Barbara". It was fall semester, so it wasn't quite snowy yet. Tisha and Darren were engaged. I wasn't dating anyone in particular, but I was "having fun". I was working as a manager at good 'ol Hogi Yogi, and I worked every Friday night until midnight.

Tisha & I on a late-night run to Wal-Mart in 2003.

 So, now you know the background.. Let me get to the real story.

Tisha, as you may or may not know, has a habit of "collecting" things, whether they be items of clothing (cough cough.. skin tight leather pants..), books, or pets. This year, Tisha had decided to adopt a mouse, which I was cool with because it didn't make noise, it had its own cage, etc. However, Tisha's compulsion to collect things took a wrong turn when she decided to adopt a hamster... that she found on the street.

That's when the red flags should've popped up.. What kind of hamster/guinea pig do you find on the street? (I mean, besides the thug hamsters in those car commercials.) Seriously.. this isn't Argentina! This hamster/guinea pig/rodent had beady little eyes.. and was totally evil. I could tell he was plotting my death.

So, we soon found out WHY this rodent had been wandering the streets in Provo. This hamster was an escape artist. He found his way out of his cage many many times. Let me illustrate the scenarios in which this hamster was found:

1) Tisha had a private room right next to mine and Meri's room. One night as we were getting ready for bed, we heard Tisha scream loudly. We ran in to her room and found her under her bed. Apparently, she had heard some noises under her bed, and when she stuck her head under, the hamster was there staring right at her.

2) I used to sleep with the door open until this night.. I woke up to some weird noises at 2 AM. The hamster was right near the head of my bed, trying to crawl up on the computer cords and plastic bags that were there.

3) When the hamster escaped again, I decided to sleep with the door closed. One morning we found a patch of carpet the hamster had worn through to the carpet pad right under our bedroom door. The hamster REALLY wanted to get into my bedroom!

4) One last time when the hamster was MIA, Tisha left for the weekend. I got home from work late that Friday night. I opened the door and the hamster froze in his tracks, right by the front door. I decided I'd had enough with this sociopathic hamster. I grabbed my umbrella and ushered this hamster out the door.

I don't know how many of you know the layout of these condos (other than Tisha, Whitney and I), but the condo complex had indoor stairwells for 6 condos. We lived in the basement condo, so this hamster had to get up a flight of stairs and out of of the stairwell's door to get outside. I didn't feel bad for this hamster at all. I kind of hoped he would die. When Tisha got home on Sunday, I lied and told her the hamster escaped. A few days later, I confessed and told her I kicked the hamster out.

I thought the hamster wouldn't make it.. But I should've known this hamster would somehow convince another sympathetic human to take him in.

A week later, we were at a neighbor's condo, and this guy said, "Hey check out this hamster we found running free!" It was the same little evil hamster..

Would you have done the same thing?

1 comment:

Anna said...

That was funny. Could you have taken the hamster to the shelter? LOL At least you didn't kill it.

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