Friday, February 4, 2011

Musings on Motherhood, Part 2

Ok, so what I’m learning about being a mom is that I need to be less selfish.

I guess that’s why it is in God’s plan for us to have children. We can become more and more like him with each passing day.. if we can handle it.

To have a child, I gave up my body. The stretch marks and spare tire prove it.

I gave up my time. I spent many hours at the doctor’s office, more hours on the couch due to my swollen ankles, and hours spent on Babycenter or reading materials about pregnancy, babies, and the like.

I gave up my money. My hospital bill was over $20K.. Good thing I have good insurance! I also am investing significant money in daycare monthly.

But my goodness.. I do not want to give up my sleep!

Anyways, during my maternity leave, I put so much into Carter I felt like I lost myself. I didn’t wear makeup for months. I could not cook or bake. I hardly even laughed or made jokes. I felt so drained from my responsbilities and the pressure to be completely selfless and focused on the baby that I lost my sight of the big picture—i.e. raising a well-adjusted child while I can stay sane. I even worried if I had post-partum depression.

So yeah.. the last week of my maternity leave, things finally started to normalize (is that a word?). And when I went back to work, I actually felt like myself again.. except I had added a new adjective to my description: mom.

I may not be selfless yet, or not even close, but I’m at least trying..

1 comment:

Shannon said...

I'm sure you are a fabulous mom Sherri! It's so hard to go from worrying about yourself and (sometimes) your spouse to being completely responsible for a child. It's easy to lose yourself and not do any of the things you used to love doing. You'll get back to it though. It really helped me to go back to work after I had Weston, even though I felt guilty about it, I truly loved it and it made me feel like a useful human. :) Anyway, I'm sure there are an infinite number of lessons I have yet to learn about being a mom, but it's nice to know we're on the right track!

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