I've said before that our finances have been pretty tight living off my salary alone.. We just DON'T have extra money floating around. We had to buy a new set of tires for the XTerra, which unfortunately were not cheap, and Graham's student loans haven't come through yet for last quarter. We had to take out money from his 401K to pay for his tuition last quarter. Graham DID get a job, but we don't know when his first paycheck will arrive.
It's been rough with so many events this month: my birthday, our anniversary, my dad's birthday, my nephew's birthday, a baby shower, a wedding, etc... I coud literally spend half of my paycheck on other people. So, this has been our plan for the holidays this year: prioritize gift giving (sorry friends who got married over the summer--your invitations are still on our fridge with the hope of buying you something someday.. Tyler.. this means you), buy my birthday gift late, celebrate our 2nd anniversary when our tax refund hopefully comes next year, buy small gifts only for the other people in our life, and perhaps celebrating Christmas in a different way.
And faced with a giftless Christmas, I started feeling really down and I started investigating exactly WHY the thought of no gifts depresses me.
Buying something I know someone wants brings me joy. Not being able to afford anything brings me sadness.
The holidays are about giving.. Does it have to mean giving gifts?
Maybe it's about spending time with family and giving your time to be with them.
Maybe it's about appreciating what you have and not agonizing over the things you don't have. I guess it could be about giving thanks..
I guess this year, Christmas is all about hope. When Christ was born, people all around the world could feel the hope that His birth would somehow change the world..
I can feel hope for the future, but it's just hard right now.
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