Bar Method One Month Challenge

All right everybody, here's how it went over one month.. I started the morning of January 6th and finished on February 8th. I did a 45-60 minute workout every morning at 5:15 AM six days a week. I tracked every single workout with my FitBit Blaze HR that monitors my heart rate. I also tracked my nutrition with the MyFitnessPal app. Here are my stats (mind you--this is only one month):

Avg calorie burn for barre workout	3.85 cal/min
Overall weight lost	4.2 lbs
Change in body fat	-1.2%
Total inches lost	6.37 in

Sadie joined me for my progress photos

Here are the before and after pictures for my 1-month challenge. (Disclaimer: this is after 4 weeks. My 5 week photos didn't turn out very well. Note to self: wearing the same clothes helps show the progress better).

Not a HUGE difference, but there is definitely progress

Here are the overall before and after pictures from April 2019 to February 2020. There is about a 20 pound difference, believe it or not. It definitely shows in the face. I really can't believe how Shrek-like my face looked like, but hey, it was 5 AM.

My weight loss progress over 9-10 months

Big difference right?

What I have learned from this self-imposed challenge:

• I can still get a good workout from a non-cardio activity. (However, this did mean focusing on getting more activity throughout the whole day to keep burning calories.)
• With lighter weights, my arms have shrunk significantly. In fact, my right arm alone decreased in size by OVER one inch in one month! I had to measure my arms more than once to verify. I would way rather have smaller arms than bigger biceps. Light weights are emphasized in the Bar Method with a focus on shoulders, back, and triceps. I was previously using heavier weights in different workouts that made my arms bigger. I have always struggled being top heavy (an inverted triangle body type), and have been super self-conscious about the size of my arms. I was under the impression that heavier weights would help improve muscle tone, but I just feel like they bulked up my already bulky upper body. 
• Even though I only used light weights for upper body exercises, my shoulders and triceps feel more toned than when I was using heavier weights before. For the first time in my life, I actually have definition in my upper right arm. I think it must be related to getting deep in the muscles with small, concentrated movements.
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Do you like cheesy workout progress photos? Do you like the old school "duck face"? How about combining the two? Killin' it.

So, my right arm was feeling a little camera shy, and didn't really want to show any muscle definition. Also, it's not very photogenic to begin with. In fact, I don't know why I'm including this photo, but oh well. 

• Barre workouts require a lot of mental fortitude. When you are deep in a muscle and you are shaking like crazy, it's hard to convince yourself mentally to keep going.
• Doing lower intensity exercise helps me get out of bed easier. When I did cardio early in the morning, I lay in bed for 20-30 minutes every morning before exercising because I wasn't mentally prepared.
• The Bar Method online videos are great! I have really loved them so far. There have been ones so difficult that I am sore right away (usually I don't feel sore until the next day). They vary in difficulty, intensity, and styles of instructors. 
• Barre exercises give your glutes and hamstrings super powers. They make me feel like I'm power walking with springs in my legs and booty, and I look like I'm walking with purpose to get to my destination.
• I was afraid that my legs would get bigger because of the lower body focus, but both of my thighs shrunk by one inch.
• Having a wall barre is way better than using a chair as a barre. The stability allows me to work even harder when doing leg and glute exercises.
• One bad thing: I got tennis elbow doing the Bar Method. I've gotten it before from a different exercise, and I'm not quite sure what exactly triggers it. Apparently push-ups can aggravate it, so I'm wondering if the 40-70 push-ups in a 60-minute workout are what triggered it for me.
• I love barre exercises. They are intense without feeling like you're punishing your body. I really really hate running, and I also don't like weight lifting. This type of exercise just fits me much better.

Anyways, I am so impressed with my progress that I just may commit to the Bar Method long-term. I will probably add in cardio two times per week once my challenge is over. Mind you, the results did happen with calorie restriction most days of the week (between 1500-2000 calories per day). If you're trying to lose weight, you may not have the same results if you're eating too many calories.

Here's to more time at the barre in 2020 (yes, I know that's a cheesy joke that's probably been done a million times before).

Also, thanks to everyone for the support to my last post about my personal life. 💕

What does your love story sound like?

Warning: I'm not a professional writer, and I've had an emotional 24 hours. Bear with me here.

If you were to tell your love story, would there be a specific tone or theme?

Would it be cynical, romantic, comedic, or something else entirely?

Starting out, I would have said our specific theme would be comedic. Graham and I are goofy and silly together. I also would have considered our love story to be romantic. We were and have been at multiple times in our lives completely wrapped up in each other. In our house, if you walk around the corner, you may still find us kissing or hugging each other just because we want to express our love. (We don't do this if we have guests--no need to fear. That would be awkward.)

After 12 years, our love story tone has been altered to add the all-important theme of forgiveness.

Some of you may have easy-to-tell love stories that are pretty smooth, ordinary, loving, but amazing all the same.

But if you know us well, our love story has been anything but smooth. All I wanted in life was to find someone to love and to take care of. I was realistic in my hopes and plans for marriage, knowing that things wouldn't be all roses and never-ending fun. However, I had no idea what I was in for.

You see, Graham has anxiety and depression, as well as some childhood stuff he's been dealing with. He goes through yearly cycles of being fine, making one small mistake, then things snowball from there. In these compromised thought and behavior patterns, he makes poor and illogical decisions that affect those around him.

What is it like to be married to someone with a mental illness? (This is a sensitive topic, I know. But if we don't share, how does it become NOT taboo?)

• I have been a support person and a victim to this behavior. 
• I have participated in multiple therapy sessions.
• I have some emotional PTSD. 
• I get mini panic attacks when one thing slightly out of the ordinary happens.
• I get paranoid when things are going well.
• I have trust issues.
• I have shed a lot of tears.
• I think "what tf were you thinking?" way more than I should.
• I am exhausted from having to be the stable one and carry that emotional load.
• I feel isolated and alone, and I have had moments of deep despair.
• I feel like I'm married to someone who's constantly trying to ruin their own life by making stupid decisions.
• I am waiting for the other shoe to drop... every day of my life.

I have cried during workouts and long car drives, said "I didn't sign up for this", prayed myself to sleep, whined "life isn't fair", and screamed into my pillow. I try to be understanding and forgiving, but I also wonder if I will ever reach the point of giving up.

When Graham and I got back together in 2013, I knew things could happen again. We decided to only have two kids because of the additional stress of the underlying anxiety/depression. I have a hole in my heart where my third child (a boy named Barrett) should be. I work full-time in case things ever go badly. I participate in retail therapy instead of discussing my feelings. I have hoped for the best and prepared for the worst.

This is an incredibly heavy post. If you know me well, I try to make things light-hearted most of the time. This isn't one of those times. I am also trying to open up a little and be more vulnerable. Being vulnerable and open about how I feel is something I never do. All of my life, I have joked around with people to prevent myself from really sharing myself with others. Recently though, I have been more cringingly (is that even a word?) open about how I feel, even though it makes me want to stick a fork in my eye. (Like if you're reading this, and I have told you that I like hanging out with you--I don't normally do that. I would much rather tease you or make fun of you than do that.) Anyways, I wish I could really share more, but it's not my story to tell. But, this IS my love story. And our love story still has yet to be finished.

Thanks for reading. I was going to do my fitness update, but my life was temporarily hijacked.