Pure Humiliation

So, I had a pretty embarrassing experience last weekend when my family was here to visit. They fortunately were not witnesses to the event…


Background: Carter doesn’t nap well when we get off our schedule or when family is visiting, so he was kind of being a turd Saturday afternoon at my sister’s house. He was tired, cranky, and getting over a cold. He still had a runny nose, so he managed to wipe some snotty patches on my shirt and pants. I put on a sweater hoping to hide those snot patches when we went out to dinner.

We went to a family-friend BBQ place for dinner, thankfully, but Carter wasn’t having it. He wanted to be inside, outside, up, down, whatever.. he just wasn’t happy. He also managed to get some smears of BBQ sauce on my clothes after eating. Finally, he found something that distracted him—little packs of flavored coffee creamers. I was holding him as he chewed on one of those, relieved that he’d finally stopped fussing.

The quiet we enjoyed for a few moments was short-lived. As you could probably guess, he managed to pop open the hazelnut-flavored coffee creamer, which squirted all over me and Carter. So now, I had snot, BBQ sauce and coffee creamer all over my clothes in little patches. I probably did smell delicious though..

Even though I had these patches on my clothes, I decided that I still was going to stop by Macy’s to get some much-needed makeup powder. I took off my sweater with the hope that my shirt looked better, and that I would still be able to get service at the makeup counter. Graham took Carter home, so I went to the store by myself. If Carter had been there, these things would be explainable to a salesperson.

At the Benefit makeup counter, the girl kept giving me weird looks. I thought it was because she was a Shiseido makeup girl. When she brought the mirror to look at the different colors of powder on my cheek, I gasped. I had a large smear of BBQ sauce on my cheek. I tried to wipe off my cheek as best as I could, but the damage was already done. I bought my makeup powder and decided to try my luck in the Impulse section with a couple of new shirts.

In the dressing room, I turned to face the mirror as I put on my first shirt. To my horror, I had a huge piece of meat stuck in my front tooth! (Yes meat, I do eat it occasionally.. BBQ was too irresistible.) Anyways, I swallowed my pride (and food) and went to the shoe department and bought 2 pairs of shoes.