Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

I'm so tired

Ok guys, we have now been in the construction phase for SIX months (but officially the foundation was dug out SEVEN months ago--but who's counting??).. And folks, I am just exhausted.

That's it. I am done with this process. DONE.

It is March (technically in a few hours), and the foundation was originally poured in September. Let me catalog the things that have happened since our shearwall inspection didn't pass 100% on January 26th. We met with the project managers on January 26th, who both confirmed that the delayed framing schedule did not change the completion date of May. (That's right--May 2018--61 days away.)

January 29th--our windows and front door were installed and the roof was completed.

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February 13th--the plumber did the rough-in plumbing, but he missed the utility sink, and the wrong shower was installed in our master bathroom. Oh, and the front door was taken off to allow big items to pass through.

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The crawlspace vapor barrier was installed.

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February 27th--the plumber installed the correct shower pan, but did not plumb the utility sink.

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That's right. That's it. One month, only one big step done. It did snow two days this month. I get that snow really does slow things down, but come on. I've seen other houses start after ours and are moving along at a faster pace.

We were promised:
framing fixes, plumbing rough-in, HVAC, electrician walkthrough and rough-in,
garage slab, and siding.

We got:
plumbing rough-in and the crawl space vapor barrier (which we didn't know about until 
after it was done).

We are waiting for (still):
plumbing fixes, shearwall/framing fixes, HVAC, siding, garage slab,
and electrical.

We've been waiting for the framers to come back for "small fixes", but nope.. and now, under unfortunate circumstances (sad story really), the same framers are unable to come back. So, they are getting an "in-house" team to come and do the framing (shearwall) fixes. This will be the third week in a row that we've been told that the framing fixes should be done. Let me say this again--they cannot start the siding until the fixes have been done and inspected. As of today, the shearwall re-inspection is not yet scheduled. If the siding isn't completed, the electrical work cannot be completely done either (you can't finish electrical prior to siding).

We were told in January that this work would be done in February.. And, February is gone and we are still waiting.

I'm tired of waiting.

I'm tired of worrying.

I'm tired of being angry.

I'm tired of stressing out.

I'm tired of paying over $1200 per month for the costs associated with building this house (yep--it's that and more).

Just yeah, I'm tired.

Our project manager has not yet updated our completion date.. so stay tuned.

Update: Curious about our progress? Click on this link to see all of our home building updates, or check out my Instagram account.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

One DECADE

We have officially been married for 10 full years. I really can't believe it. I can't believe I am 35, ahem, 29 years old! These years have been the happiest, most stressful, most miserable, and yet most joyful in my life. I wish I could tell you how good things are. I wish I could tell you that we are riding on unicorns across rainbows in the sky. I wish I could say that our love is unconditional and unwavering. I wish I could report how amazing our life is.



Unfortunately, it's not any of those things. Life is hard. Marriage is tough. Raising kids isn't always fun. Building a home (as you all know now) is not a walk in the park.



I can say that Graham is my best friend. There is nobody else that I'd rather be with. He makes me laugh, he frustrates me, he calms me, and he has literally made me crazy at times. Our marriage isn't perfect, but it's been full of laughter and tears.



I wish I could share more about what's going on in our private lives, but I can't. It's not the right time. When we went through hard times ~5 years ago, I was pretty open about our experiences. Now, I'm a bit more hesitant to share.. especially considering how much more jaded I've become. I've been pretty sad--actually sad doesn't even scratch the surface of what I've been feeling--and I've had a few friends help lift me up. It's sad when you realize how little support you have left outside of your marriage. It can be kind of isolating at times. I've been on this crazy roller coaster, feeling like my life was spiraling out of control... with nobody to confide in.. mostly because I don't want anyone to judge me or Graham.



Anyways, I'll share our story sometime, somehow, in some way.



Right now, we are continuing on in holy matrimony.. bound together by our commitments to each other, to God, our family, and this gosh-dang house. We are committed to making this work, for better or for worse.



Maybe next time I'll share some of my favorite moments over the past 10 years..



Until then, I leave you with one wedding photo.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Life... Ugh

I cannot believe I've somehow waited almost another month before blogging again. I swear, it doesn't feel like I wrote the last one THAT long ago. Time just kind of slips by, doesn't it?

Anyways, I've been meaning to do a family update for some time now. Carter is almost three and a half, and is seriously growing up way too fast. He says the funniest things, and is really the cutest little guy I know. He is very clever and witty, especially for a three year-old. He loves to run, play with trucks and trains, and is a total daddy's boy. Now, though, that we have 6-hour long stretches alone together at night, he has grown more attached to me. He is still pretty little (about 27 pounds, < 5th percentile), but he's finally picking up in height. He's finally wearing size 3T clothing, and even starting to grow out of those pants in height as well! He is a fairly obedient child, as long as we are being consistent in our parenting. If we set a timer for bedtime, nap time, etc, he will usually do it with no whining. His favorite time of the day is story time at bedtime, so if he doesn't want to brush his teeth, he is at risk of losing that.. so he almost never protests. He can sight-read a couple of simple words (mom, dad, dog, etc), and knows all of his letters and sounds. He is very playful, and likes to tease. He often says "I'm just messing with you.." (Obviously, something that is said very often in our house.) He's not very athletic, much to our disappointment and surprise. Graham and I are both fairly athletic and competitive people, so we'd hoped our kids would be the same. However, Carter CAN hit a ball from a tee, but he runs slow (he runs a LOT, just slow). Maybe it's because he's so small. Either way, Graham is thinking of ways to try to make him more athletic.

Let me give you an example of how clever he is:
Graham: "Carter, get your feet off that plate!"
Carter: "Ok!"
He takes his feet off the plate, but puts his left foot back on the plate.
Graham: "Carter, I told you to get your feet off the plate!"
Carter: "My FEET aren't on the plate. My FOOT is on the plate!"

Another:
Carter: "Daddy, don't do that! Don't put that there!"
Graham: "Carter, you can't tell me what to do."
Carter: "I'm not telling you what to do.. I'm telling you what NOT to do."

So anyways, Graham has been working in the evenings from 3-10 PM, 4 days a week. This means he drops Carter off at my work at 2:30PM, and I take him home for the rest of the night. I work at 6 AM almost every day now, which sucks, but it's something I have to do for my family. Carter was going to daycare for 2.5 hours 4 days a week, and full-time for one day a week. This means I am a single mom most nights of the week, which sucks. When Graham and I were separated, I dealt with this by going to the gym almost every night. Now that I've changed my workout schedule and have gone back to working out at home 3 nights a week, I've had to deal with this "single parent" situation a lot more. I can't say it's fun. I totally admire single parents. It has been super hard for me.

And, if you noticed, I said Carter WAS in daycare. And now, as of today.. he no longer is.

What is the change, you ask..

Well, we've made a very difficult life decision. If any of you faithful readers remember, Graham and I found out that that he'd have to be in school for at least three more years from last August to finish his bachelors degree in Engineering. At that time, we had a very lengthy discussion about if it was going to be worth it to continue on. I told him I'd be supportive in whatever he chose. I suggested thinking about a different path, perhaps a trade school or something, but Graham said he wanted to continue moving forward. But now, we've finally come to the decision that Graham is going to change his course and stop pursuing a bachelors degree in engineering. It's not that he's not smart enough to do it.. it's just not the right fit for what he needs. He will continue working at his evening job until he gets accepted into a program that meets his needs. There's a naval shipyard in our area that is hiring hundreds of "helper" and apprentice jobs that will be trained and educated in a certain trade and shop, whether it's as a welder, machinist, etc. There's no hurry right now, but he's applying for positions this week.

So, Graham will be home with Carter during the day, and work in the evening. I will work during the day and Carter will be home with me in the evening. I have felt for a long time that this would be a better position for him.. working in a shop, with his hands.. We just continued along the BS in Engineering route because that's what I thought he needed as a man to feel good about himself. But, since school isn't the right fit for him, I think a career that is fulfilling that pays adequately (no, we're not talking about 100K jobs here) will be enough. Yes, I will probably work for the rest of my life.. and that's ok. I'm educated and I like my job enough to keep doing it. And no, we will probably not have a big family. I'm getting old, and we can't afford another one for a while.

It's been an extremely emotional day or so, and we've let our parents know what's going on. It's been disappointing, relieving, exciting, stressful.. many many emotions.. We've cried way more than we should. Again, it's our lives, and some of you may think our decisions may not be right (and we've heard and thought both ways), but we are moving on. Whew. I'm still emotional as I type this.

New home blog coming soon

I have received a lot of questions via email about how the home is holding up for the past 2.5 years. I plan to do a detailed update on our ...