Just Life

I know I have a couple of regulars who check here every now and then, but I don't really post that much. So, this one is for you! (And hello to some of you who may have wandered from my home building posts.) Warning: this is a pretty random post.

--Our lives are pretty stable right now. Carter is playing youth sports, Sadie is going to start her first dance lessons, and I'm still working full-time.

--Graham has been working hard on a project at work. In fact, he recently got a huge bonus for his hard work. He is applying for a new position that will allow him to work on this project long-term (fingers crossed).

--Yeah, that huge bonus I mentioned? Spent. We just bought Leaf Guard gutters. That is expenssssive. But, where we live with all the trees and rain--we needed them desperately.

--I'll do an update on our new house, but I do have one recommendation: don't get Samsung appliances. Our dishwasher was already replaced in less than one year.

--Social anxiety. Do you have it? I do, and always have. I could literally write a whole blog post about this...

Using technology makes it better, but I can sit and analyze every comment and text message that I have written for hours. I will also STILL cringe about things that I have said over a decade ago. I not only replay past conversations in my head, but I will constantly prepare myself for future conversations and think of multiple scenarios and possible things to say in every day life. It's mentally exhausting thinking of every thing a person might say and what I would say in response, but hey.. that's what social anxiety is to me.

--Does this give me mom butt? I bought a new pair of pants and literally stared at my butt in the mirror for about 10 minutes. Normally I can make up my mind pretty quick, but this pair of pants had me stumped. I had to wait until Graham got home to help me decide. Seeing that my age is creeping up closer to 40, I must avoid mom butt as much as possible.

--Workouts and exercise. I'm on the "don't miss a day" schedule. Even when I was sick, I got my butt up at 5:30 AM and exercised. It's one of the beauties of working out at home. I also did a barre-style workout one day at work. I thought it wouldn't be too noticeable, but I was freaking sweaty by the time I was done. I am feeling good because I can finally fit into my pre-Sadie pants (my pre-Carter pants are too big). I can also feel and see some good muscle changes happening in my legs, booty, and arms from adding more barre workouts in my life.

Anyways, here's my most recent progress pictures (comparing April to August):

Look, a little bit of muscle definition!

--Youth sports. Carter is playing soccer again. He is somewhat athletic, but he is not aggressive. He is learning some skills, but you can't teach someone how to be aggressive. I just don't foresee team sports like this in his future. We tried gymnastics, and while he is athletic and could hold a handstand longer than any boy or girl in the class, he could still barely do a cartwheel after 4-5 months. So, we will try taekwondo and maybe even rock climbing at the local Y when soccer is done...

--Lash extensions. I have had them sporadically in the past, but they cost too much to maintain. I love the convenience of waking up and looking good, but I didn't have the extra money to keep it up. However, this summer, I decided to try them again. I found a good deal on Groupon, and I've been getting them filled every 3 weeks. I love the length and look of them, but with my makeup addiction, I find them to be annoying. My eyeliner and eye shadow both get gunked up in the lashes. So, if you are an eye shadow addict like me, lash extensions may not be for you.

--Makeup. My purchases have slowed down a lot. I have too many eyeshadows to use them all in a realistic time frame. I keep up on my standard products, such as foundation, powders, etc, and I've invested in a couple more items that I love. If you want an update on my favorite makeup products, let me know.

Childish Argument

So, Carter and I got into an argument on the way home yesterday. Carter will often correct Graham and I or will argue against us, so this isn't an abnormal event. Carter got pretty upset and was in tears by the end of it.

So, we have a rule in our house that if you get hungry between daycare pick-up and dinner, you can eat fruits and vegetables as a snack or just wait until dinner to eat. We don't make many exceptions to this rule..

On the way home from daycare, Carter asked for a snack. I knew what he was thinking of--Wheat Thins. Of course, he would fill up on those and not eat dinner, so I reminded him of our rule of eating fruits and vegetables as a snack instead. He quickly got upset and started yelling that fruit "is NOT a snack! Fruit is for breakfast and lunch--not a SNACK!" I didn't back down, and asked him to stop yelling and settle down.

Then, he finally admitted what he really wanted--chocolate chips. His explanation: "Daddy gives me chocolate chips as a snack all the time. I just want to eat chocolate chips any time I want!"

My answer, knowing that that is likely not true: "Well, Daddy was being naughty if he was giving you chocolate chips for a snack because chocolate chips are a treat."

His response: "Daddy was not being naughty! He was being nice!"

So, I got out of the car to fill up the gas tank at the gas station. It had problems accepting my card, so I was out for a good 5-10 minutes before sticking my head back in, when he yelled at me, "Fruit is not a snack!!"

Oh, Carter, don't ever change.. Or do change and stop arguing all of the time.

Hawaii 2014

So, as many of you know, we took a family trip to Oahu this past month. My parents have a timeshare on Waikiki, and they were able to get 2 condos in a tower about 2 blocks away from Waikiki beach. Weirdly enough, it was the same hotel we stayed in when we went as a family in December of 1999. I wasn't super excited about going to Oahu again as I'd been there twice before as a teenager (I know, I know, I sound like a spoiled brat). I thought I'd seen and done it all, so while I was excited to go to Hawaii, I wasn't super excited to go back to Oahu.

To my surprise, I loved being so close to Waikiki as a mom. It was close enough to the beach, the hotel, restaurants, shopping, etc, and not that far of a car ride to anything else we wanted to see. It was kind of strange going to Waikiki as I felt like I was going back in time. I went in December 1999 with my family (and my high school boyfriend) and June 2001 for my high school graduation senior trip (that really makes me feel old). I felt kind of like a teenager again, and I distinctly remember strolling down the Waikiki strip with friends and walking down Waikiki Beach with my boyfriend. So, it was definitely weird to be with my husband and son walking down the same beach.

Anyways, we absolutely had the BEST time. Carter kept saying on our last day, "But I just don't want to leave Hawaii!" We know, Carter, we know... I'll just give you some brief descriptions of what we did (because I normally don't do this kind of thing--let's face it.. my life is boring and my vacations are usually to visit my family in California or Utah). I'll add some vacation pictures in here when I have better access (also posted on my Facebook and Instagram accounts).

Saturday: We arrived at the airport and my sweet mom arranged for us to get fresh leis by baggage claim. If you've ever been to the Honolulu airport, you'd know it is partly open air, so we loved that. The heat was quite shocking, though, when exiting the plane and walking through the jetway tunnel. We managed to find our family and made our way in the rental minivan to the hotel on Waikiki. We got to check in a little early, changed into our bathing suits, and walked over to the beach. The water was freaking bath-tub warm and felt amazing. We literally hung out in the water for over an hour, which isn't normally our thing. We hung out at the beach for a couple of hours and the kids had a blast. My brother Jacob's family went as well, and Carter was just in LOVE with his cousins, including Gabe, who's 17 and 3 feet taller than Carter. I don't remember what/where we ate for dinner, but I remember we did stop at Jack in the Box for lunch..  :/

Sunday: After taking an early walk on the Waikiki strip (I never really did get used to Hawaii time), we went to church at the Honolulu LDS Tabernacle. It seriously was an amazing building and grounds. Wow. It almost looked like a temple. It was their ward's primary program, which was good because we were missing our primary's program. Carter sang all the songs with the little kids. Totally adorable, except he started talking loudly about Godzilla in the middle of a prayer. We then went on a family train ride on Hawaiian Railway. We got an awesome, and very sunny, view of the West Oahu shoreline. It wasn't super exciting, but I know Carter had a blast. We then celebrated all of our family's birthdays in October and November (five birthdays!) with spaghetti and chocolate cake.

Monday: This was Pearl Harbor day. I'd already done this before, but this was on Graham's must-do list. Again, it was a touching and humbling experience and I teared up a bit during the video. Carter was actually pretty respectful as well and talks about the "ships being destroyed". My brother really wanted to get a Dole Whip (which was super amazing by the way), so we stopped by the plantation on the way to Haleiwa Beach. The beach was nice, but this was a particularly bad spot for coral. Ouch. All of our feet got torn up pretty good. We decided to avoid the traffic by taking the long way home and making a long drive around the island and the North Shore. We stopped by the Laie LDS temple to take some pictures, and we ate at this amazing taco place called North Shore Tacos.

Tuesday: This was the most chill day of them all. I worked out with my mom, us ladies got pampered by getting facials and massages, and I got my makeup done at Sephora on the Waikiki strip before my date with Graham. I chose Duke's, which is a totally touristy restaurant on the beach (as most places are on Waikiki), that I'd heard great things about. It was delicious and we had the most amazing sunset view from our table. Graham and I walked around the shops and hotels and had a great time without children.

Wednesday: This day was eventful and we planned to hike Diamond Head and snorkel at Hanauma Bay. The hike was really nice, and of course, provided an amazing view of the island. I was surprised at the ease of the hike, as I remembered it being difficult from high school. Anyways, we next went to snorkel and swim at Hanauma Bay. I am not a huge fan of snorkeling, as it makes me kind of claustrophobic and getting too close to fish and other creatures makes me panicky (I'm totally not an animal person, including fish). The bay was gorgeous, but it was freaking hot. We used a spray sunscreen that didn't work very well, and my sun allergy broke out really bad on my arms. Graham had a zig zag sunburn on his back from my crappy attempt at protecting his back with sunscreen. Also, Graham went snorkeling with the rental minivan car key fob in the pocket of his swimsuit. Miraculously, it still worked! Graham was lucky, or he may not have made it back home alive. Anyways, we did some Vietnamese takeout that night for dinner.

Thursday: Today was our zip-lining day. Not many of us had been before, so it was an awesome experience. It was practically a brand new course on the North Shore called Climb Works. They drove us up to the top on an ATV, and we took 7+ zip lines on the way down, including rappelling, climbing up a rope, and walking/running across a wood bridge. We had so much fun, especially since we died laughing at my mom trying to climb up the rope (you definitely had to be there). We headed back to the hotel, where Graham hurt his wrist playing basketball with our teenage nephew playing on a wet court outside. We all went out to Cheesecake Factory that night to celebrate my niece's 14th birthday.

Friday: Beach day. All beach. All day. I read the Green Mile that day and ended up with tears streaming down my face while on the beach. Totally normal beach behavior. Because it was Halloween, it was looking to be really busy on the Waikiki strip. We ended up ordering Round Table Pizza and eating in the hotel. We then dressed the kiddos up (Carter was Spiderman) and walked over to Honolulu Zoo. For $5, you could trick or treat there and visit their own Haunted House, Carter actually went in and wasn't very scared. He kept in character and kept trying to shoot spider webs at "bad guys" in the haunted house. A mad scientist character was holding fake brains on a platter and asked Carter if he wanted to see his brains. Carter replied, "No thank you!". We died laughing. Carter is even polite to haunted house people! Anyways, Graham and I took one last walk on the beach that night after briefly checking out the crazy dressed up people on Waikiki. Definitely not our scene.

Saturday: We went out for breakfast at LuLu's Waikiki, which is an open-air restaurant right across the street from the beach. We sat at the bar so we could all just stare out at the ocean (I know, it's the same Pacific Ocean that I have access to here in Seattle) and enjoy the delicious food. I ate Spam in honor of my last day in Hawaii (it's really good--I would eat it here more if it weren't so bad for you). We drove to the airport, all depressed and sad. We soaked up all of the sun and warm breezes that we could get before heading home.

I don't know when we'll be back to Oahu (let alone Hawaii), so it was definitely sad leaving. I will remember this trip fondly and will miss those warm nights and beautiful sunsets. Sigh...

And, just to see if you're still reading this.. We have some big news coming up...

Natural Disposition

Get ready for one random blog post. Graham has now started working double shifts on Fridays, which means he works from 3 PM - 8 AM. It is nice for us because he is now practically full-time, but is only gone 4 nights a week. But it also means that I'm alone all Friday nights with things to ponder (total flashback to Zoolander here).. And so, I've felt particularly inspired to blog tonight. Yes, I know not many people really follow my blogs with much anticipation, but I still really like to write about my thoughts, feelings, and my normal life activities. It provides a nice outlet. However, I won't be writing too long tonight because I just started a new book (The Giver, if you're interested).

Speaking of providing an outlet for expression, has anybody heard of the documentary and movement called "Mortified Nation"? It's where people stand up in front of strangers and read old journal entries from their childhood. Now I have some pretty embarrassing journal entries from childhood and my teen years. This documentary inspired me to read some of my old journals. Should I post some excerpts of previous journal entries? What do you think? Do you think it'd be fun to read?

Anyways, I felt inspired to write tonight after mine and Carter's visit to the park tonight. This is an interesting park because there's a diverse socioeconomic population of children and families that play at the park. So, there's some pretty good people watching going on there. For example, there was a group of goth teens, a political fundraiser with elderly people, and a couple of young families. There was a single dad there with his two boys. The younger boy was maybe 4 or 5 years old, and was sitting in one of the swings that is for babies and young kids. He was stuck and no one was pushing him, so he kept repeating, "shit shit shit". I was dying inside, trying not to crack up, and a little glad that it wasn't my kid cursing like a sailor at the park. Anyways, there was a little 2 or 3 year old kid just crying at the side of the park. Carter took notice, and approached him a couple of times to see if he was ok. I was honestly so proud inside of my little, empathetic, observant boy. I got a little teary-eyed just thinking about my sweet boy. He was the only kid at the park who noticed this sad little boy, and tried to help him. It was just a natural instinct in him.

This got me thinking about Carter's natural disposition. Since birth, he has a been a fairly easygoing child with a sweet disposition. Every where Carter goes, people always tell me what an awesome, well-behaved, mild-mannered child he is. I tell them that he's just naturally this way. He is cautious, kind of like me, and empathetic and sweet, like Graham. He apparently helps others without being asked, which is like both of us. How much of what characteristics does he have that are inborn versus learned behaviors? Are children born to be a certain way, and as parents, we just need to do our best to not screw them up? I am unbelievably lucky to be Carter's mom, and I think of it every day. Sometimes I am just inexplicably filled with joy and gratitude when I just look at him or when he says something adorable (which is often). It's always nice to get reminders of how blessed I am.

I am in very dangerous territory right now. I am looking at old family pictures on the computer, and I'm getting more baby hungry by the moment. Can we take just a second to appreciate these photos while I go cry myself to sleep because my baby boy is way too grown up??

I only posted this one because it's a reminder of how far I've come with weight loss. This is obviously before I lost any weight. Yikes!!

Yeah, about that...

I am left alone for the weekend again. Carter and Graham went down to Portland for his brother's baby blessing this morning, but I had to work today and tomorrow. So, I'm bored and watching Hulu all by myself tonight, and I felt inspired to blog.

I guess I feel like I don't really have much to blog about, just some random things. So, I'll do one of my old-fashioned mind dumps.

1) We just got back from a road trip to my hometown in California. It's about 800 miles to my parent's house, so we drove through the night on the way there so Carter would sleep through the night.  We listened to an audiobook of Divergent on the way down while he slept. It worked out really well, but neither Graham nor I slept very well in the car. We were BEAT when we got to their house. Let's just say I slept very well the whole time we were there because I was making up for the lack of sleep. We didn't do anything big, we just played in the pool (my mom got Carter shark fin floaties--he loved them and swam all over the pool in them), played with cousins, and shopped a little bit (I found an awesome swim cover-up dress from Athleta). Can I just mention really quick how great Carter was? Seriously, this kid is such a blessing. He's so easygoing and mild-mannered, and yet adorable and hilarious. He was amazing on the drive home (he only slept for a little bit on the way). He had a little LeapFrog reader, some trucks, and some other random toys, but he mostly sat there in silence, looking at the window. He didn't complain and only had to go potty quickly once. I guess this means we can take more road trips if he's going to be so awesome!

2) Speaking of swim dresses.. Guess who's going to Hawaii in October?? We are! My parents have a timeshare on Oahu, and we are going for a full week with them and my sister. We are so excited. We haven't been on a real vacation since our honeymoon to Kauai in 2008. But now, Graham will probably have to work Thanksgiving in exchange for not working a full week in October.

3) I hosted a girl's night a couple of weeks ago with some friends. We were trying to think of ideas, including going shopping, hiking, eating at the Melting Pot, mani/pedis, etc, and I volunteered to host a fondue night to save money. Not thinking it all the way through, I chose to make a traditional Swiss fondue (with a white wine base). I only realized this mistake when the ladies asked me for the recipe. Number one ooops: I didn't ask if they'd be ok with having white wine base (we're all Mormon and don't drink alcohol). The cheese fondues at Melting Pot all have an alcoholic beverage in it, so I didn't think anything of it. Number two ooops: one of my friends is pregnant and shouldn't consume alcohol (the alcohol doesn't all cook out, sorry). Yeah, I felt like an idiot...

4) I am really loving my barre-style workouts right now. I downloaded the Barre3 app on my phone for like $5, and they have free 10-minute workout videos available on the app. I've been picking and choosing different little sections for do a 60-70 minute workout, and it's been nice to kind of switch up the routine a little bit.

5) Work is going to be kind of crazy this summer. First of all,one of my co-workers is getting married and got another job in Seattle. Friday was her last day. Ordinarily, it wouldn't be too terrible, but my other co-worker is on vacation this next week. So, I will be working by myself for 4 days next week. Super excited. Plus, our hospital is getting a new electronic medical record system in like 3 weeks. so, double suck. Short staffed and new system=recipe for disaster. But, the silver lining is that I don't have to work any more weekends this summer unless I get called in. Woohoo!

6) Some newer beauty products I've tried is a men's shaving cream from Sephora and a body wash gel from LUSH. The shaving cream is the bomb. I mean seriously, Graham's face stays soft for 2 days when he uses it, when normally his beard is all scratchy by the end of day 1. So, I had to try it myself, and it works wonders on me too! This means less shaving, softer skin, and less overall product used. The body wash I got is in a citrus scent and it really helps wake me up and feel fresh in the morning. I would highly recommend it, but my favorite one is still Foam Call wash from Sephora. That one is my favorite scent ever and I feel like it's really moisturizing.

7) My mom totally spoiled me when I visited her. She surprised me with eyelash extensions! They're a little more fragile than the ones I got for my 30th birthday, but they're lovely. I'll have to take a picture and post it on Instagram.

8) Carter's personality is really like a mini-me. He's kind of a contrarian sometimes and likes to argue just to go against the flow. For example, I would not wear flip flops in high school because everybody else did, and everyone wore the ones from Old Navy. I think I got a pair from J.Crew literally the week after I graduated. Anyways, my mom was talking to Carter about making good choices in life and to CTR ("choose the right" she explained), when he responded with "No, I C-L. I Choose the Left." He really is clever, that one.

Anyways, we don't have anything really planned over the next month, so who knows what the heck I'll blog about. I mean, I shouldn't complain about my life not being eventful. I've definitely had enough fodder over the past year to keep my blog entries plentiful.

Watch out ladies..

Carter's on the prowl!

So, Carter's favorite new movie is our wedding video. He loves watching it, and will even watch it more than once. I didn't think too much of it, until he started talking about getting married himself.

One of our friend's daughters (Cora) is a year older than Carter, and they've played together a couple of times over the past few years, but not a lot of times or anything.. But, apparently she's made quite the impact on him.

"When I get bigger, Cora and I are going to get married!"

"When we get bigger, Cora and I are going to kiss! She's going to dress up like a princess and we'll get married!"

I can't even tell you how long I laughed at the last statement. Seriously, so hilarious. So, that's what weddings are like to a three year-old, huh?

I texted my friend and warned her that her husband may have to get out his shotgun..  ;)

Christmas Advent Calendar Ideas for Toddlers

Growing up, my parents would buy one of those cheap advent calendars that had a piece of chocolate in each day.. which I loved, but there were five kids in our family, and only ONE chocolate per day. 5 kids.. 1 chocolate--> family fights over a tiny piece of crappy chocolate. I did like opening the tiny little doors every day, though.
                                                                   

So, I decided to do an activity-based permanent advent calendar for Carter this year. I thought that Carter is old enough to understand and enjoy the Christmas-related activities. I researched calendars from Pottery Barn Kids (I thought about making one myself, but let's face it.. I'm not crafty), and my mom ended up surprising us with a personalized one with our last name on it (I blacked the part out).

I looked up some activity ideas on various blogs via Pinterest, and I picked the most applicable ones for our family and Carter's age. If you've been following me on Instagram or Facebook, you likely have noticed I've been posting lots of pictures of our activities. I made sure to include Christ-related activities, such as telling the Nativity story, reading passages from Luke 2 telling the story of Christ's birth, or providing service to others. Some days in the calendar only held a small piece of candy (I used Dove's dark chocolate peppermint bark, which is fantastic), and some days had an activity and a piece of chocolate. Here are a list of our activities:

1) Read Luke 2:1-21 (we read this, and also did the story using an LDS felt story board)
2) Read Christmas books by the Christmas tree
3) Watch the Polar Express movie
4) Ride the Polar Express train
5) Make paper snowflakes
6) Make salt dough ornaments
7) Paint the ornaments
8) Make popcorn balls
9) Make reindeer food
10) Make chocolate dipped Oreo treats (I used candy cane Oreos with candy cane/peppermint candy melts--this didn't melt very smoothly and was pretty thick, so I was definitely use almond bark next time).
11) Go caroling and give Oreo cookie treats (we visited some single or widowed elderly ladies that we knew from church)
12) Go drive and see Christmas lights
13) Open 1 present early (this will be a Christmas story or Christmas pajamas)
14) See the movie Frozen in the theater
15) Make cookies for Santa
16) Read The Night Before Christmas
17) Play "guess the toy in the stocking"
18) Eat a picnic breakfast by the Christmas tree
19) Watch "Mr. Krueger's Christmas"
20) Fly to California (obviously this is specific to our Christmas vacation)
21) Decorate the Christmas tree
22) Make a gingerbread house
23) Call/Skype the grandparents and sing "Jingle Bells" with bells (they LOVED this)
24) Drink hot chocolate after dinner

Doing this calendar has absolutely made this time of the year magical for me (and Carter). I've loved doing these little projects and seeing Carter's face light up with all of the possibilities. Carter has LOVED doing this, and has asked to do the "Chwistmas cawenduh" every morning! I will definitely be doing this every year from now on, although I'll probably be changing some of the activities as Carter gets older.

Carter's 3rd Birthday

So, we celebrated Carter's 3rd birthday in a chill birthday party on Sunday. It was just us, Graham's family, and my sister. No games, no activities, just opening presents, eating cake, and watching Carter and his cousin play with all of Carter's new toys. Funny thing was.. I planned on making him a construction cake, but nothing else with a construction theme.. and pretty much all of the toys he received were construction-themed (a jackhammer, chainsaw, moving construction toys, etc.). Here are some pictures:

I used the red velvet layer cake recipe from America's Test Kitchen. Here's the recipe:

I used the no-bake Oreo Cheesecake filling and ganache from here (the recipes are made to fill and cover a 9 by 13 sheet cake, so there was lots of extra left over). It ended up working out really well doing this type of cake as it cracked when I was transferring it out of the pan to let it cool. So, I cut the other cake to match, crumbled the leftovers, and put them in the little truck. Carter absolutely loved it and kept asking to see his cake all afternoon.

Carter ate his whole piece! There was nothing left of the cake. Super rich, but totally delicious.

Anyways, that's it for now. We are off to Utah tomorrow for a 4-day vacation to visit family. I'm not super excited to fly with Carter by myself, but I'm excited to have a few well-deserved days off.

Oh, and here's my guy on his actual birthday morning with special birthday waffles.

Choices, choices..

So, I am off work for Columbus Day today. My daycare is closed, so I had to take the day off work to be home with Little Dude. Anyways, I'm exhausted, and I was deciding on if I should take a nap right now or not, and I thought about my poor little blog that's been neglected. My blog won out, for a short period of time, at least.

So yeah, Carter was sick this weekend. I mean like SICK sick. Like, throwing up every hour from 2:30 AM to 7:30 PM from early Sunday morning to Sunday evening. Like, couldn't even keep down water or Pedialyte. It was AWFUL. Luckily, Graham was here to help. Carter was such a trooper, though.. The last time he puked, he was fine and was even picking up his toys less than 5 minutes later. When I throw up once (not 3-5 times every hour), I am out for the count. Carter was just awesome, and you wouldn't be able to tell he was sick (unless you saw the picture on Facebook where he fell asleep on Graham's lap--he never does that). Graham brought his Engineering for Kids Legos stuff from work, which have motion sensors and propellers, which make things move. I posted a video on Instagram with a drumming Lego monkey. Carter seriously was entertained for two-and-a-half hours, which is unheard of for our very active child!

Other updates in my life. Things are going well for me at work. I am giving a nutrition support lecture at the hospital next Monday (the day before Carter's birthday, yikes). I also was chosen as to become a super-user for our new electronic medical record system that's coming next summer. I get to attend training for two days next month. I am a little stressed out right now because I am working Saturday, Carter's birthday party with family is on Sunday, my lecture is on Monday, Carter's birthday is on Tuesday, and we are flying out to Utah on Thursday. And then, it's Halloween and it's all downhill until Christmas from there. I'm still bummed that I have to work Thanksgiving this year (my first one alone), but I'm sure I can get an invite from someone here. Also, I am already planning out Christmas activities for me and Carter. He's finally starting to understand Christmas and family traditions, so I'm trying to think of fun things to do that he can remember. We are riding the Polar Express Train when we visit Sacramento, so he's starting to get excited for that.

I am loving this fall weather right now--it is a beautiful, clear, chilly day in the Northwest, and it's just perfect today.

Next time I blog, it'll probably be about Carter's birthday. This is what I'm thinking of doing for his 3rd birthday:


Oreo Construction Cake



Funfetti Waffles

I'll probably be posting more pictures and videos on Facebook or Instagram (user Shewi128) before I blog, so check me out there.

Anyways, about that nap...

Finding joy in life's simplicity

So, I guess I'm coming back with another semi-serious blog. Maybe a little boring for some, but I've been thinking about things a bit. Anyways, what inspired this blog was this weekend. I had an amazing weekend. What did I do exactly that made my weekend amazing?

Nothing.

Nothing special, that is.

Graham came to visit, like he does most weekends. I baked America's Test Kitchen coffee cake muffins (which were amazing, by the way.. so amazing that Carter asked for more than one) for breakfast, we ran errands for a few hours (Target, Costco, and Winco), and headed back home for Carter's nap. We chilled at home for a few hours, attended a kids' consignment sale, and took Carter to the park. On Sunday, we went to church, watched a movie, and had an amazing dinner (if you have to know, Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff with buttered noodles, and peach cobbler for dessert). Although none of these activities sound particularly exciting, I had the cheesiest smile on my face Sunday night. I felt at peace with the world. But, the thing I couldn't figure out was why was I so happy?

I finally put my finger on it this morning as Graham chased Carter around the house, trying to wrangle him into his clothes. This was life. Normal life. And I've been missing it dearly.

It's been so strange for the past 5 months, being alone with Carter. I've been trying to keep him busy, help him grow and learn, and trying to help him understand why his daddy can't be home all the time. I've been working out a lot outside of the home, which was not present in my previous life. So, I've basically been living in this dream-like state for the past 5 months, kind of wishing and hoping that this really wasn't the way things had to be. I've missed my old life.. having someone to come home to, someone else to help out, someone to take care of, someone to take care of me, and of course, having our whole family together. And this weekend filled that void.

When Carter was a baby, our "going out" nights included trips to Target and/or Costco. Those were the highlights of our week. Now that Carter's older and, sigh, wants to push the cart in every store we go, I avoid going to these stores with Carter alone. So, it's nice to have someone as backup to control the toddler beast in stores. I just really enjoyed doing all of the things that were present in my previously normal life.

I feel like I am finally learning how to appreciate the things I have. This whole situation has put things into perspective for me.. about what is truly important in my life.. family. And I need to enjoy it while I have it.

Carter is slowly teaching me this as well. Children live in a much more simple world. A simple frog, siren of an ambulance, wheel on a truck, or cloud in the sky can absolutely enrapture my child. We went on vacation to San Diego, and although we had an amazing time, you know what Carer's favorite things were? His cousins, running and jumping around, playing in the sand, and pushing his umbrella stroller everywhere. Did we need to go to the zoo or Legoland for entertainment? No, he was perfectly happy with running around, especially with his cousins. The way Carter enjoys the simple things in life has reminded me to stop what I'm doing and enjoy the moment.

Friday night, after we got back from swimming at the Y, my workout class afterwards, and a quick trip to the grocery store, I was exhausted. I just wanted to eat my dinner and veg out on the couch while Carter played with blocks. But no, since he's an only child, he sometimes refuses to play on his own. He wanted to play cars with me, and he wanted to play with them on my chair.. which meant I had to get out of my chair. I begrudgingly got out of my chair and let Carter play cars, alone, on my chair while I sat on the couch. I didn't feel guilty at the time, but having Carter ask to sleep with me put me in my place. Later that night as Carter was sleeping, I kissed his sleeping angel face and promised him that I would try harder to enjoy the little things in life, including playing cars even when I'm too tired to stand.

And so, that's exactly what I did this weekend. Do I still have a pile of clean laundry waiting to be put away? Yes. Are my counters clean? No. Did I play with my son and let him know that he is worth my time? Yes, and that's what counts.

Carter-isms

I'm trying to remember and record some of the cutest things that Carter has said lately, so here we go..

[In the car]
Me (singing Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines): "Cause you're a good girl..."
Carter: "You're not a girl. You're a lady."
Me: "I am a lady.. Are you a man?"
Carter: "I not a man.. I a horse."

[At the dinner table after Carter says please, thank you, and eats his broccoli]
Me: "You're just the best boy, Carter. You're awesome."
Carter: "You're the best girl, mommy. I love you."

[In Idaho, going to retrieve lost family members from a hike]
Carter: "To the rescue! We save the day!"

[After seeing a giant St. Bernard dog, aka "Beethoven"]
Carter: "It's a little bit a horse.."

[Walking out of church when it's super sunny outside]
Carter: "Turn off the light!!"

[Looking at pictures of Jesus in the hall at church]
Graham: "Here's Jesus. He loves you and he loves everyone."
Carter: "Jesus loves ice cream. I love ice cream too. I want ice cream."

My summer "vacation"

So, I was feeling jealous a little the other day that I'm not taking any significant time off this summer. I'm taking a couple of days off for Labor Day, but that doesn't count. Graham took a week off with Carter in Idaho, but I don't have anything planned!

So, God heard my thoughts and blessed me in His own way.. I'm taking a week-long vacation this week, only it's forced. Carter spiked a fever on Monday night, so I kept him home from daycare on Tuesday. This morning, his fever was gone, so I figured everything was ok. Around 10:30 AM, however, my daycare lady let me know that Carter had a rash on his face and needed me to pick him up immediately. We went to the doctor and found out that Carter had a rash caused by a virus, which is the same thing other daycare kids had been diagnosed with. So, even though he's not contagious, he's not allowed to come back to daycare until his rash has cleared.. And... his rash has only gotten worse today. The other kids from daycare still haven't returned after 4 days. So, I'm fully expecting to be off work through Friday.

So, we have watched Talladega Nights about 7 times (Carter makes me fast forward to all of the racing parts), Wreck-it Ralph 3 times, and Chuggington 3 times.. As far as vacation goes, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Anyways, I just wanted to post some pictures of Carter's favorite moments from his vacation to Idaho with Graham's family.

Sucker Punch

Ever since I've become a parent, I've definitely become a sucker. Things about families being separated, kids getting sick, etc, have made me cry a lot more than they used to before Carter came along!

Anyways, I was watching World War Z with my sister this afternoon, and Brad Pitt's character was saying goodbye to his kids, and I teared up. It wasn't even that emotional of a scene, I'm just super sensitive to this right now! So yeah, I also cried on the way home in my car because I knew Carter won't be there with me (he's in Idaho for the week with Graham's family). Now I have an idea what Graham feels like every week he's away from Carter. Although I don't feel bad for him because he's the reason why we are separated, I definitely feel a fraction of his emotions being away from Carter.

Quickie

Ok, so just a quick post for the day.. I've been thinking a lot about the spiritual implications of my situation, and I've been figuring out in my head how I want to say the things that I feel.. So, that will be next.

Anyways, if you're not my friend on Facebook, you wouldn't know that the past 3 days have been ROUGH on Carter. He has been crying daily for his daddy. He went so far as to make me cry with him last night. Sometimes, he cannot be consoled. I try to "reason" with him (is there really such a thing as reasoning with a toddler?), like daddy made mistakes, daddy's sick, daddy needs to work and go to school, but he yells back at me, "he [daddy] is better!" (i.e. he can come back home now). Ugh. This is exhausting, and it is absolutely heartbreaking that Carter sees and feels so much.

Sometimes you just need to cry

Carter is down with Graham for the holiday and long weekend, so I have some alone time. I always feel more vulnerable and emotional when I'm completely alone at home.

So, Carter's horse story made me tear up a little bit last week.. but I really haven't cried a lot in some time. I've felt a little numb at times, but not tearful. Last Friday though, I broke down. You know, I've read articles about how Facebook can make your life seem more lame and boring, and how you can always be comparing your life to others, especially since you tend to browse Facebook when you're bored. So, I was Facebook-ing late at night alone, looking at pictures of friends' happy families, wedding or anniversary announcements, comparing my life to others, and I burst into tears. Tears of frustration, anger, loneliness, despair came pouring out of me, and I tried to bury my face into my mattress just to stop the tears. Eventually, I was able to calm down and realize that my life is not actually terrible, just temporarily awful.

So, today, I dropped off Carter at Graham's house, which definitely made me sad. I barely got any sleep last night, and I'm getting a cold, so my emotional fuse was short. I had no patience, no empathy, and definitely was quick to anger. Anyways, I was in the gym's locker room after a workout, and I burst into tears just thinking about Carter. Carter is honestly the sweetest, most easygoing, just the best kid I've ever met.. and I have the opportunity to be his mom! But, I just fear that we are damaging this precious little spirit we were sent. Not only does Carter want his daddy back, but Carter really wants his mom and dad together. Carter tells me stories about animals missing their daddies, while he tells Graham stories (when he's visiting at his house) about mom and dad animals being together. When Graham came and visited last weekend, he came and kissed me on the cheek in the kitchen. Carter was sitting at the table, eating his breakfast, while his eyes were completely fixed on us with just the biggest and happiest smile on his face. It just breaks my heart that it has to be this way.

Here's us at the beach..

 

And, here's my most favorite picture of father and son.



Carter's Story Time

So, Carter often likes to tell me "stories" on our way home from daycare every day. He'll tell me what happened at daycare, what his friends did, the colors outside, etc. He's quite the talktative and observant toddler.

Anyways, on the way to daycare yesterday, we spotted our neighbor's horses hanging out in their yard. Carter started telling me about the baby horsey being outside, wearing a "jacket" because it was cold. He then went on to say that the baby horsey wanted his daddy horsey to come back. When I asked him where the daddy horsey went, he said the daddy horsey was sick and went to grandma and grandpa's house. He said the baby horsey missed the daddy horsey a lot. I honestly teared up during that story.. dangit Carter!

Last night, he pointed to the shark on his pajamas and told me another story about this baby shark who missed his daddy shark. I told him that the daddy shark missed the baby shark too and will see the baby shark when he can.

Seriously, I had no idea that children can even understand these things, let alone process these emotions. I am amazed at his ability to be able to process this info and talk about his emotions by re-enacting the situation with toys and other objects. I know we all think this about our kids, but Carter is amazing. However, it does make me sad to know that Carter does know what's going on in his own little way.. I just hope he doesn't remember this sad time in his life.

What's Yours?

This is going to be short entry tonight. My workout did a lot of shoulder and thigh work, so I am feeling pretty weak. I had to cut Carter's bath short because I felt like a limp noodle trying to wash his hair.

Anyways, I've been thinking about this kind of random topic a lot over the past few weeks. A friend at work was talking to me and a nurse at work, and when he walked away, the nurse said something about what good people he and his wife are. I, being the comparative woman that I am, wondered what the heck people would say about me. Would people say that I'm a good person?

Which then led me to wonder what would people say my defining characteristic is?

I can tell you what it NOT is: kind, friendly, outgoing, the life of the party..

Here's what I think my good qualities are: I'm clever or witty with words (yeah, I know it may not completely translate to my boring blog), good listener, and good sense of propriety. Nothing too exciting, I guess. Oh, and I guess I'm smart and pretty, but I was just born with those. Hah.

One thing I've learned from my current situation is that even though I tend to be cynical, I like to believe the best in people.

Also, I've learned that my actions are not run by my emotions. I have always been even-tempered. Ask my parents. Even going through puberty, I never had many episodes of mood swings. So, I tend to deal with stress pretty well. Working with people of different temperaments has showed me that I weather stress well. People have repeatedly told me during this whole ordeal that I'm strong, and I honestly didn't believe them, and I had no idea what they meant.. until now. I feel surprisingly emotionally strong undergoing this huge trial.

Anyways, I'm still trying to figure myself out..

But, if you want a little Carter-ism, he has been into making "smiley faces" lately, including with his food and random objects. The best one, was when Graham was changing his diaper, and Carter was butt naked. He made a lip shape with his fingers, and made a smiley face with his butthole as the eyes and nose. "Look, Daddy.. I make a smiley face!"

Honestly, I have no idea about this kid sometimes. I'm pretty sure he's a comedic genius.

13 months and counting...

So, I have started counting down the months until Graham graduates college with his degree in mechanical engineering. May 2014... we are very much looking forward to your arrival!

Anyways, Graham is preparing for his last year of school, picking out his classes and schedule, and getting excited for job prospects. He says that every student in the class a year ahead of him is either going to grad school or has a job lined up. The engineering recruiters in our area are excited to start recruiting students from Graham's program because they are people who want to stay local. So.. we are VERY excited to think we may be able to have a job lined up after Graham is done with school. (In case you were wondering, the internship at the naval shipyard didn't work out due to the Sequester and the hiring freeze.)

I am also celebrating 13 months of exercise and fitness this month! I started exercising March 2012, and I've been steady ever since. I've only missed about 3 days total of planned exercise due to illness or unforseen events. I am currently holding at 21 pounds lost (it has been EXTREMELY difficult to lose weight in the winter gosh dangit). I am 3 pounds above my goal weight, but that's ok. However, I've decided to try to lose 8 more pounds to get down to my new goal weight, which will put me at ~30 pounds lost. I have promised myself a new makeup palette that I really want if I lose more weight. So, I've gone back to doing 20 more weeks of heavy cardio and HIIT training, so I should be done by July or so (i.e. swimsuit season).

Anyways, life hasn't been too exciting. Graham is getting close to finishing his semster and preparing for his summer semester away. We are planning on him being gone for 6 weeks down in Vancouver, WA, and 3 weeks out in Pullman, WA. Even though it is the same amount of time gone as last summer, it's going to suck more because it'll be 5 full days gone instead of 3. I'm not looking forward to being a single mom again for the summer. I am looking for activities for Carter and I to do this summer, like swimming lessons, but that means I have to be in a swimsuit in public, and it's kind of expensive. So yeah, I should post more of the hilarious things that Carter says/does, but I can't commit to blogging more.

One Carter-ism for your enjoyment:

Graham: "ouch!"
Carter: "what happened daddy?"
Graham: "my butt hurts."
Carter: "I kiss it better!" (as he leans in)
Graham: "No, Carter, no!"

I'm also adding some pictures from Easter that didn't make the cut to Facebook.

This is my "I'm getting real tired of your complaining, Graham, and just take the picture already" look.

Ok, maybe just one picture then. Stupid blogger.

Update

So, I haven't blogged in 2 months. Yikes. I've been busy. Graham has been down in Portland during the week, completing his engineering labs, so I'm a semi-single mom. Pretty much every day, I wake up early, get ready, drop Carter off at daycare, work, pick Carter up, throw something in the oven, put Carter to bed, exercise, and then it's bed time. Free time is minimal and usually I use it to take a bath after a hard work out.

As far as life goes, I cannot wait for the summer to end and for life to go back to normal. I love Graham too much for him to be away this much. Plus, Carter misses him and asks for Daddy all of the time. Work is work..

Vegetarianism has gone out of the window. Although I believe fairly strongly about its principles without getting all self-righteous about it, I just can't do it long-term. I love cooking too much, and not being able to cook beef, chicken or pork made me sad. I have a full shelf of cookbooks that I felt like were going to waste. I love trying new recipes and trying new vegetarian recipes wasn't cutting it. I still plan on eating meat more sparingly and making a vegetarian meal at least 1-2 times per week. I also bought some organic ground beef at Costco that I liked.

Fitness-wise.. I am doing great. I am almost 6 months in and still loving it. I have not missed a planned workout once. I even brought my workout videos on vacation (which my family joined me in, which was a lot of fun). Thanks to my friend Sherilyn who let me borrow her videos, I have moved on to Turbo Fire, which is the Insanity version of Turbo Jam. It is very high intensity, so it requires a lot of energy on my part. I am absolutely drenched with sweat even after a 15-minute workout. It combines high-intensity cardio with high-intensity interval training (HIIT), as well as yoga, stretching, and resistance band training. The HIIT workouts are no joke. I've never jumped this much in my life, including at cheer practice and tumbling lessons. I am in love with the music and look forward to my workout all day long.

Graham says I've become an annoying person who talks about working out a lot now, but that's ok. Both of my co-workers work out a lot, so it's something we all share now. I love feeling the endorphins after exercise and feeling sore after a new workout. I am beginning to like what I see in the mirror. From June 1st-August 1st doing Turbo Jam and Bar Method, I only lost 2 pounds (out of a total of 10) but I lost more than 10 inches. Man do I wish I measured myself in March when I started! Anyways, since I started Turbo Fire July 30th, I've lost 2.5 pounds and 4 inches, including a full inch off my waist in only 2 weeks! I found my measurements from October 2008, and I'm actually smaller than I was then in my arms and waist! My goal is to get down to my waist measurement from my senior year of high school--only 4.5 more inches to go.. If I keep going at this rate, I should be there by October, when we take our family photos for Carter's 2nd birthday! I've lost almost 12 pounds so far, and it's dropping more rapidly with the new workout.

Anyways, hope you all are doing well and enjoying your summers. It's been in the high 70's and 80's, which is unbearable up here. Thank goodness I live in the Pacific Northwest because I am now heat-intolerant.

Carter's going to be a big brother!

Hahaha.. just kidding. I was just trying to catch your attention! I thought with all of the pregnant women I know right now that I'd fit right in.

Anyways, no, not pregnant. Not in the plans for a few years until Graham is done with school..

I’ve been slacking about blogging about our family’s activities way too much! Since most of you live far away and have little chance to see Carter in person or get to know him, I’m going to try to describe his personality so you can feel like you know him a little bit.


--Carter is a mischievous boy. He loves to do things that may “get him in trouble”. He knew he wasn’t supposed to press the cable box buttons, but he would stand in front of it and pretend he wasn’t going to touch anything. Then, he would crouch down and sneakily touch the buttons and pop back up, laughing hysterically. Graham ended up putting a clear Plexiglas cover over the cable box, so the joke is on you Carter.

--Along with the first trait, Carter loves to play and has a good sense of humor. He loves to be chased and sneak up on mommy with dad. He once was hiding behind the door in his room, playing hide and seek with Graham. When Graham poked his head around the door, Carter hit him in the face with a dirty diaper that was on the floor.

--Now that Carter is walking, all he wants to do is walk. No playing with trucks, no puzzles, no stories.. just walking. He does laps around our kitchen and living room, stopping along the way to open cabinets and cupboards and exploring the unknown.

--His favorite words now are “thank you”, “uh oh”, and “amen”. He finally says mommy!

--He semi-folds his arms for prayers, which is adorable. He knows baby signs, like “want”, “more”, “all done/gone”, and walks to the fridge if he wants some milk.

--Carter is actually a cautious child, which is strange considering he is Graham’s son. He will army crawl up to the top of the stairs and peer down, never letting go of the top stair with his hands. I guess his caution is why he didn’t walk until 14 months old!

--He loves to drink the water from his toothbrush every night, which is kind of disgusting.

--When he is tired, he is DONE with everything. He will fuss, close the book we’ve been reading, and point to his bed. No singing or humming is allowed once he’s done this.. believe me—I’ve tried.

--Morning Carter is my favorite Carter. He’ll play in his crib usually until we get him, mumbling in his crazy baby talk or sometimes repeatedly calling out “daddy”. He is all smiles, and will sometimes play tag in his crib (i.e. he will run/crawl from us when we try to pick him up). He also likes to pretend to go back to sleep. He’ll lie down, grab his blanket and turn on his sound machine giraffe.

--Carter is a skinny little guy! At his 15 month appt, he was only 19.2 lbs (<3rd percentile) and 31 inches (50th percentile). He gained enough weight that he doesn’t need to see a Dietitian (like I would go see one anyways hah), but he’s just a little guy. His head circumference continues to be in the 50th percentile, so Graham calls Carter a balloon, like Mr. Mackey on South Park.

--Carter’s favorite foods: cheese, chocolate (of course), beans, and bread. Dislikes: deli meat, pork, and pasta (I mean seriously, what kid doesn’t like pasta??).

Anyways, I’ll keep updating as much as I can.