Selling our Home

Well, in order for us to finance our new home, our old house had to go. I don't think all housing markets are like the Puget Sound right now, but it is 100% crazy all around Seattle and surrounding areas. We are about 45 driving miles from Seattle (25 miles away "as the crow flies"), and still, it's insane even all the way here. It is totally a seller's market out here.. which is how we were able to get a good chunk of cash to put down on our next home. Within a year of buying our home, it went up over $30K in value. So yeah, we bought at the right time, and now we're selling at the right time.

So, when we decided to prepare to sell our home, we enlisted the help of an agent to figure out things that we needed to do to the house prior to putting it on the market. This involved lots of fun things, such as roof/gutter cleaning, raking up the millions of leaves from our neighbor's trees, fixing up our crappy garden, etc. I did more of the fun stuff, like taking down all of our family pictures, taking down anything personalized that made it look like our family lived there.. making our home a house, I guess. Having nothing personalized on the wall (other than art canvases) makes me feel sad in a way, because it doesn't make the house feel lived in.

So, I staged the home, took everything off the counters, everything out of the nightstands, toys packed up, put some fruit in the glass trifle bowl. I was preparing the home for pictures up until the moment the photographer arrived. I don't know if you all saw the pictures I posted on Facebook from Redfin, but dang.. the photographer did a great job. He made our questionably-colored green painted walls look good, and made my home look very put together.

So, a little over a week later.. we put our house on the market on a Monday afternoon. We were under the impression that it wouldn't be listed until 5 PM, so there was no way we would have a showing on the first night, right?

WRONG. It posted on Redfin around 1 PM, and we had 3 viewings scheduled for the first night already by 3 PM that afternoon. Holy cow.. wasn't expecting that crazy of a response. So, I left work early, and I busted my butt to get home and get the house completely ready for showing (i.e. taking care of the dishes in the sink, makeup on the counter, and un-made beds). I was seriously sweating by the time I was done, which was 5 minutes before the first showing. I guess we totally underestimated our house and the response to a seller's market.

Anyways, long story short.. We had 7 showings (maybe more?) within the first 3-4 days, and two solid offers within the first 4 days.. and we accepted the offer.. which was more than the asking price. The one thing was that they wanted to close on the loan by March 31st.. 3 weeks to the day from accepting the offer. We were not expecting that soon of a closing date, but luckily, we were semi-prepared as a good amount of stuff was put into storage the previous month to prepare the house for selling.

But again, we underestimated the power of a seller's market.. even with rentals. Every good rental listing was being snatched up within days of being posted. So, panicking, we quickly applied to a local townhouse that is $100 less than our mortgage.. More than we wanted to spend, but hey.. we can't be homeless with a kid in school and a baby. We are set to hear back soon.. which is necessary as we need to move out in 12 days. So please, pray for us that we get this place and that we'll have a place to live!

Choosing a Home Builder

Now that we'd decided to seriously consider building a house.. We had to figure out how to make it happen.

The thought of picking out a house plan, hiring a general contractor, and making all of the little decisions regarding building a house was an exciting but daunting prospect. Graham's brother, James, has been involved with multiple home renovations and projects, and gave us some initial advice. From that, I was intimidated by the prospect of being my own general contractor or hiring one. I also found out that it'd be incredibly expensive to go with an all-custom builder. I then decided to investigate "on your lot builders". The idea of these businesses are for land owners to build homes with instant equity by decreasing the amount of overhead for similar suburban tract homes. Most of these builders provide semi-custom home plans with cost in mind. The builders provide the plans, the construction of the home, but allow the buyer to participate in the designing, planning, and building process.

The biggest ones in our area are Hiline Homes, Adair, Reality, Lexar, TrueBuilt, and Garrette Custom Homes. I found plans that I liked with most of the builders, but then I looked up reviews of the various builders.. which scared the crap out of me. Lots of bad reviews for many of these builders. Most of them require the buyer to do a lot of the work, like permits, site development, etc.. which seemed like too much work. I've also seen some disgusting bare bones homes from these types of builders, aka homes with brown trim, cheap vinyl floors, low ceilings, and horrible floor plans. I didn't want to build a house I'd be ashamed to show anyone. Many of these builders have been around for a long time, and there was a lot of info out there from previous customers, but two companies didn't have many negative reviews: Garrette Custom Homes and Lexar Homes.

Then, there was the pricing. By far, my favorite was Garrette Custom Homes. They have a great Craftsman style with lots of details, especially the exterior. We even toured some of their homes in person. We found 2 home plans we loved, but the cost of the homes themselves (with no site prep), usually started between $230-299K with no upgrades. The homes were still nice, but no, I don't want a tile kitchen countertop or vinyl floors in all bathrooms. Been there, done that. We toured their homes in person, and we loved them, but we couldn't or didn't want to afford them, having to pay so much for simple upgrades ($15-20K for tile showers, double oven, and tile/glass backsplash alone).

Then, I asked someone at work who was building her home. She said she didn't have a great experience with her office, but that her home turned out well overall. She was building with Lexar Homes through the Silverdale, WA, office. I had only heard of this builder from their mall storefront location. They are a "Build On Your Lot" builder that focuses on energy efficient homes. Because the home we'd be building is in a different county than my co-worker's, we wouldn't be going through the same office. From there on, I focused on Lexar Homes through the Tacoma, WA, office, as our likely builder. The Tacoma prices were better than nearly ANY of the other offices in Washington. Also, the Tacoma standard features were awesome, including laminate floors (for all of you hardwood snobs-- yes, I'm talking to you mom--wood isn't the best option for us as we cannot afford it or the upkeep) in hallways, den, great room, kitchen, and dining room, granite countertops in kitchen and bathrooms, full tile backsplash in kitchen, tile backsplash in bathrooms, heat pump (including AC (!!)-- big deal for us), smart home technology package, fiber cement siding, etc. All of these things would've been expensive upgrades with any other builder!

So, we were trying to get info about land financing prior to putting in an offer on the land, when Graham had a good idea to call Lexar of Tacoma and ask them about their process and financing. We were able to speak to someone incredibly helpful despite the fact that we hadn't even committed to building with them or even  meeting with them yet. He gave us more info about a good lender they work with. It's a small credit union in the Puget Sound area that does lot of construction loans, specifically with Lexar Homes. They also give an interest break for "green homes". So, we applied for a lot loan with the bank, and set up a meeting with Lexar as part of our feasibility study. We had a list of wants/needs/maybes that we could address in our meeting and price them out. I also brought various floor plans that I liked of theirs, but it was all cost-dependent. I used HomeAdvisor's website to estimate everything, including adding a 3-car garage, an upstairs bonus room, metal roof, etc, so I could be prepared to be hit with the bad news that we couldn't afford anything we wanted. On the phone, we were warned that the home prices were going up as of December 2016, so that was another disappointment.

NEEDS:
--3 car garage or shop.
--3 bedrooms plus den/guest bedroom (preferably with master and guest on main floor).
--2+ full bathrooms.
--No brown trim or doors. No NO NONO ONO. (Can you tell I've been traumatized?)
--No laminate countertops in kitchen.
--No vinyl flooring in main areas (kids bathroom and laundry room ok).
--Separate vanity area for makeup in master bathroom (my makeup is literally on my kitchen counter right now).
--Double oven (I don't know if this is a need or a want, but with how much baking I like to do, it's more of a need).

WANTS:
--Quartz countertop.
--Wood burning stove (necessary in the sticks where power goes out frequently).
--Separate play room for kids.
--Stone surround behind wood burning stove.
--Full tile backsplash in master shower and behind master vanity.
--Pantry and large kitchen.
--Laundry room sink

MAYBES(??)
--Metal roof (I wanted this because of all the freaking moss on our roof now--moss doesn't grow as much on metal roofs--Graham wasn't into it).
--Separate room for exercise.

We waited impatiently for our appointment with Lexar of Tacoma. I had a binder of everything I'd been saving about floor plans, the site plan from the engineering company, etc. At the end of November, we met with the sales person/branch manager for almost 3 hours because we hit it off so well. We were pleasantly surprised to see how affordable it was to build with them, as he was able to price everything right away, including the proposed changes to the floor plan and additions to the house. I didn't get my metal roof (an additional $12K--would be nice, but not THAT nice), but the attached exercise room to the master bedroom fit in the plan.

The next best thing about our meeting was that if we signed our contract and put down a deposit before December 1st, we would lock down the lower initial price of the house.. which would save us $30K off the base home price plus interest! We didn't have to start building right away, so we said YES. Crazy! And, there went our savings along with the down payment on the land.. So now, we have to sell our house, which will then give us the down payment we need to get a construction loan to start building the house. This has all been happening so fast! I wasn't ever thinking I'd only buy a home to live in it for 2 years, but.. that's the way it's working out.

Anyways, I plan to keep up this blog during the process of obtaining financing for the construction loan and building the house because I cannot find hardly any info about people who've built with Lexar. I've found experiences with HiLine and Adair, but no Lexar blogs. So, I'll be the first independent reference for anyone out there in cyberspace. (Hello strangers on my blog!)

We are putting our house on the market next week, but I'll be updating this blog occasionally as we go through the next pre-construction phase.

Update: Curious about our progress? Click on this link to see all of our home building updates, or check out my Instagram account.

Buying Land and Building a House..

We have been MIA in real life for a couple of reasons:

1) Graham has been working 60+ hours per week
2) Apparently, two kids are more work than one.
3) We've been in the process of buying land to build a house.

Yes, I know.. insane. Let me explain. Several months ago, we started saving money for some house improvements. We were thinking about replacing the siding on our house and installing a portico above the front porch. The work would be estimated between $10-15K, depending on the quality of the siding we chose. I started making plans for this big project, when I noticed that a lot was for sale on Redfin for $59K in a gated neighborhood near our house. It made me think. Hmmm.. why spend this much money on our current house when we wouldn't recoup the cost, and we can afford to build a home in a nicer neighborhood? Our current home doesn't meet all of our needs--my brother cannot stay with us due to the stairs, there is no master bath or big closet, and no extra room for the kids' toys. Building a home with everything we need sounded like a great option compared to big renovations and projects on our current house. This got us started on a roller coaster to actively looking for land and building our home.

I got super excited thinking about the process of building our own home. Growing up in California, I felt like only the super rich people had enough money to build their own house. In fact, I looked up the cost of a lot in my hometown of Folsom, California, and a small lot was $240K.. which obviously doesn't even cover the cost of the house. Yeah, we could never afford to do that in CA. But, here in the sticks, land is much more affordable, and building your own home is more obtainable. I started going on Pinterest again (I've been on a 3-year hiatus), pinning floor plans, design ideas, etc.. I was seriously dreaming about specific floor plans with decks, covered patios, and a daylight basement. I was hooked on the prospect of building my own home, and we hadn't even started yet.

We had some pretty strict guidelines on where we could buy land. Without saying exactly where we live, we live on a sub-peninsula, which is basically a peninsula on a peninsula. It's hard to describe without a map, but we'll just say it's by the Puget Sound. We like our current area because it's more rural, but it's still only 10 minutes away from Costco and Target. We could buy land cheaper if we went out further on the peninsula, but no thanks. As my doctor described that area, it's far enough out that you can hear the banjos playing. Plus, we want to stay in our ward at church, and avoid the sketchy middle school farther out in the sticks. So, the land mass we were considering is fairly small. The first lot we considered was a 1/2 acre sloped lot in a gated neighborhood that also bordered on a small stream. It looked like a great lot for a great price, especially since the septic design was already paid for, the land was already cleared, and a lot of work had been done on the lot, but we had to decline. The house footprint on the lot was only 48 by 34 feet, which is TINY considering you had to have a 3-car garage  and 2400+ sqaure feet for the neighborhood (the minimum for the neighborhood). We would've had to build a 3-story house in order to meet the community guidelines, and that wasn't our idea of a "forever home", so we moved on.

Then, a 3/4 acre lot in a different neighborhood went back on the market (it was previously pending). I got super excited when I found out that the lot already had water and electricity (two big cost items). So, we put in an offer, pending a feasibility study. Since many of you may not have had experience with building a home, let me talk about this.. A feasibility study is a specified time frame in which the buyer can investigate a particular lot to see if it's cost effective to build on that lot. If it's not, the buyer can back out of the deal without penalty prior to closing. A feasibility study includes the following: water, electricity, fire prevention, septic design availability, legal easements on the lot, possible site plans, and building capabilities. I'd already done most of the work for this lot, such as verifying the water and electricity, but we had yet to contact a septic designer to do a soil test (to see if it's amenable to a septic tank) and pick a particular builder.. So, I contacted a surveying/engineering firm to get the soil test done, and I got in touch with several builders (that's a different story altogether--stay tuned). The geologist I spoke with was amazing and super helpful. He looked up the soil info for the lot, the contours of the land, and put together a site plan that included a scale drawing of the house, driveway, storm drains, and septic tank within literally 45 minutes from the time we started talking. It made the process so much less scary to have someone so helpful in the initial process.

Anyways, the only snag we found in the feasibility study was the need for a fire hydrant, which would be $8K(!!!) for the planning and installation. The seller was not willing to budge on the price of the lot despite the fact that the seller owns all of the other lots in the area that would benefit from the hydrant. The other lots close by are not inhabited or currently for sale, so guess who gets to pay for the full hydrant? WE do. Not happy about it. Graham wants to put the hydrant in a place on the street where none of the other lots can benefit from the presence of the fire hydrant. According to county code, even putting in fire sprinklers wouldn't make us immune from having to install the hydrant. Argh. We've considered many alternatives, but it's NOT an option to go without a freaking hydrant. If our lot was over an acre, it wouldn't even be an issue.

Anyways.. financing. This is where buying land or a lot gets complicated. It's not as easy to get a loan for just land/lot, so we had to go to local banks and credit unions. Plus, the interest rates are way higher because of the greater risk to the bank with a land-only loan. I've read practically every article on land loans there is, and we finally found a local credit union through a builder that had our best deal: 20% down, 7.5% interest rate, 20 year term, with a balloon payment at 5 years. Do you know what a balloon payment is? $48,000 due at Year 5.Yikes. That definitely put a strict timeline on us to have our home built within 5 years to avoid paying that giant payment. There were other options, such as 30% down, 20 years, with a lower interest rate, but we didn't have the cash. Another option was 20% down, 8-9% interest rate for 15 years. That monthly payment would've been a little higher than what we wanted due to the shorter term. So yeah, we found the right loan, the right credit union.. and now we just had to wait for the appraisal.

If the appraisal came back as being less than what we wanted to finance it for, we would've had to put more money down, or get the seller to decrease the price. We've never had land appraised before, so it really made us nervous. Plus, the time line was 4-6 weeks out, so it put our closing date out to late January, as opposed to late December. Luckily, the appraisal came back as being $100 more than the selling price, so we were good. Getting the title was another headache, as the communication wasn't great between our lender and the title company. I was completely stressed out a few days prior to closing because the time was passing by so quickly and everything wasn't set yet. However, everything came together at the last moment, and we closed on the land on January 31st.

All in all, it was a stressful experience because it was something completely foreign to me, but it all worked out. But, the stress is just beginning.. We have to sell our house, and move into a temporary place while our new house is being built. I will be blogging along the way, so check my blog if you want to follow along in our process.

Update: Curious about our progress? Click on this link to see all of our home building updates, or check out my Instagram account.

MIA on Facebook

I don't know how many people have actually noticed, but I've taken a step back from my Facebook account. I've actually deactivated my account twice over the past couple of months. It has nothing to do with social media itself, as I've kept my Instagram account. I just have been so SICK of the negativity on the Internet. Yes, politics was a big part of my decision to stop scrolling on Facebook so much. But really, this quote from Stephen King's novel exactly illustrates how I feel about the hatred spewed online and in the world today.

So, I deleted Facebook on my phone, and I've noticed a huge change in my life. I'm no longer obsessively checking my phone for notifications and updates. I'm spending more quality time with my family. At night, Graham and I talk about us, our lives, and current events. It has been quite the time saver. I still log on occasionally, but only on the computer, or via browser on my phone. It makes it like 100 times more difficult to comment or get involved in people's online arguments. I unfortunately still NEED Facebook for updates about activities and other local things.

Yes, I do miss seeing all of my friends and old acquaintances' accomplishments, family pictures, and big life announcements. I'm no longer wishing people happy birthday, or watching friends' families grow. But, I am watching my own family grow and enriching my marriage. This is not a holier than thou kind of thing. This is just an explanation behind my relative absence. And like I said, I still keep up on Instagram, so if you haven't followed me on there yet, you can do that if you still want to keep in touch.

I keep my Instagram feed full of food, makeup, and family/friends. If you think I'm doing this to keep my head in the sand, don't worry.. I can read the news and keep up with social events just like anyone else. I can just form my own opinion without being subjected to everyone's biases on current events.

In summary, I'm trying to keep my head above water.. but I just wanted to let my real life friends know that I'm sorry if I miss your birthdays, your big life events, your children's accomplishments, and other things you may post about. I'm happy for you, excited for you, and I love seeing you and your kids grow up.. Just understand that I'm taking a long break.. If you ever need to get a hold of me, e-mail me, tag me, or message me on Facebook.

Having it "all"

Somebody bugged me a couple of months ago when Sadie was a few weeks old (ahem.. you know who you are) about blogging more.. and specifically asked for a blog post about life balance, parenthood, marriage, etc..

I didn't respond, of course, because I was busy nursing this tiny human who wouldn't gain weight nor sleep by herself and even the thought of blogging boggled my mind. But now that I'm back at work and Sadie is not only gaining weight but also sleeping through the night, I can take a moment to think about my life.

Women often get asked the question, "How can you have it all?" Aka.. a family, job/career, and good/happy marriage. It's a little sexist that women get this question, but men don't.. but whatever. Here are my thoughts on the subject, and how I try to balance some of the biggest priorities in my life.

My job:
I picked a career in Dietetics years ago when I looked at BYU's list of majors in alphabetical order my freshman year in college. I was in the Nutrition GE course that semester and I thought to myself--"hey I can do that!" And I switched my major yet another time that year.. and the rest is history as they say. As I got further into my education, I discovered the opportunities to work full-time and part-time in the field, which was my major concern. As a girl growing up, I had no idea what I wanted to be or do (although I used to think I wanted to be an architect or interior designer), but whatever it was, I wanted to do it part-time so I could be home with my kids part-time. I had never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom full-time ever.. I'm not naturally a motherly type. Anyways, although I like my job and career, it isn't a huge passion. You might take a look at my resume and think differently (I have a Master's degree and two specialty certifications), but it's all been a means to an end.. a career that could be part-time. My job and career and not my life.. just a way for me to feel normal and get outside of my home. I don't take my work home with me.. ever. I guess I did study at home for my two exams, but that was it. I don't worry about work. I just show up and do my best. That's how I keep my work life balanced. No secret tricks there..

My family:
Like I said, I always wanted to work part-time and stay home part-time. I'm not like a kids person, and I need my adult time to feel normal. But, I always wanted a family, and we wanted four kids.. then three.. now just two. And we're done. It was quite the adjustment for me after Carter was born. I had never taken care of a newborn before, and the demands of motherhood were exhausting. I didn't enjoy going back to work at 10 weeks, but I didn't hate it. After 13 weeks home with Carter and Sadie this year,  I wanted to stay home.. for the first time ever in my life. I bawled like a baby the night before I went back to work. Since she's our last baby, I wanted to be home and be with her to witness all of her "firsts" firsthand. But, me not working full-time isn't an option for us right now. So, I bucked up and drove myself to work with tears in my eyes Monday morning. I vowed to myself to relish every moment of Sadie's baby life, even the nights of no sleep, so I can always remember this time. Carter's first year was kind of a blur. When I get home each afternoon, I devote time to each of my children, whether it's games with Carter, or snuggles with Sadie.. My alone time is at night after the two kids have gone to bed. I don't need many breaks from my kids when I only have 4.5 hours of them awake in the evening and I work during the day. I try to make quick to prepare meals, freezer meals, or InstantPot meals to decrease the amount of time cooking. And, I pray nightly for my children and for me to be a good mom. I'm not saying I'm a saint by any means.. I have my nights and moments where I just wish for quiet or time alone.. But if I only have 4 hours at night.. I can pull myself together for my kids during those hours. Again, no secret tricks.

My marriage:
Here's where it gets complicated because each relationship is different. Graham and I have an interesting relationship. Neither of us are super romantic and we're pretty jokey with each other, so what works for us probably wouldn't work for others. In fact, I had to go to the doctor's a few weeks ago when I was really sick, and Graham and I were bantering with each other back and forth in front of the doctor. The doctor didn't understand us or our relationship and told us to go home, have sex, and to orgasm (no seriously--she said that). Yeah, she definitely didn't get us at all. One of the biggest strengths in our marriage is the fact that we not only love each other, but we really like each other too. We enjoy each other's company a lot, and we often have conversations about social events, parenting, work, etc.. We also are both grateful for each other's help and often express our gratitude. I am extremely lucky to have a man who helps clean the house, does dishes, and gets up in the middle of the night with the children. He thinks he's lucky because I cook good things....? Hmm, you'd have to ask him the rest. We both consider each other lucky to have found the other person.

Even though marriage has been hard and definitely work at times, it's been the most worthwhile thing to maintain. We are in it for the long haul, even though we've both had our "moments". A bump in the road doesn't have to halt us completely. Sometimes we both get super frustrated at each other. Graham left our house keys in the rental car in San Diego. I got super paranoid and crazy during pregnancy (you don't even know). Even though we both have major flaws and have both made big mistakes, we love each other all of the time and express that love and appreciation. An imperfect diamond is still a diamond, right?  But, if you keep telling the other person every way that they've disappointed you, the other person eventually may just give up. Of course, communication is still key in relationships, but constantly voicing your displeasure doesn't make anyone happy, not even yourself. We also love each other more than our children. Graham's dad told them as kids, "I love you, but I love your mom more." It's important of us as parents to prioritize our relationship to provide a stable foundation for our kids.

One thing we both do, coincidentally, is to keep a running list of happy memories and good times in our mind. That way, if your spouse frustrates and angers, you have happy moments to keep you going. The cheesy thing is, Graham introduced me to this song and told me it made him think of us and our life together. Mind you, Graham composes music and could basically write a movie soundtrack. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but Graham is very musical and talented. He has written a songs for me, Carter, and Sadie based on his feelings for us, and the songs are all very different. He played this song for me, and I thought about how Graham kisses me on the forehead when I'm tired or not feeling well, mine and Carter's last mommy-son date before Sadie was born, crying with Sadie in my arms before going to work, and our bittersweet moments together (when Graham and I separated and he left to get on the ferry to live with his parents for 8 months, and I told him "I will love you forever").. And now, it's the soundtrack to our lives, and this song, as well as Graham's personalized songs, will always remind me to love my spouse and to cherish our time together,



Anyways, no secrets to having it all here.. This is just how I keep myself together while being pulled in a million directions.