Good News

I have good news ladies and gentleman...








When I called to tell my parents, the first thing my dad asked, "You're expecting?!"

No.. that's not it.


Anyways, I've been stressing a little because of Graham's school situation. He attends a junior college that has a bachelor's program in engineering, but the program is crappy, non-accredited, and poorly planned. Because of limited class options, it would take him another 5 years to get his degree. So, we've been looking everywhere in WA for engineering programs, since we're residents now.

Washington State in Pullman... good program, no jobs for me.

University of Washington in Seattle.. ok program, job availability, expensive cost of living..

Washington state in Vancouver... good program, low cost of living, better job availability with thr proximity to POrtland and all..

So we were thinking, Vancouver is cheaper to live at, closer to family, etc.. One catch.. Actually 2... I'd have to find a job down there, preferably in WA to avoid state income taxes. Then, I'd have to find a job AGAIN in our town after Graham gets done with his school because Graham wants to get a guaranteed job out of college with a government agency. So... that would be taking a risk there..

But we just found out this week that Washington State is bringing their bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering to our little junior college because of the high demand for engineers in the area, and because we're an underserved population.

So.. we'll be here permanently for at least 6-10 more years. Maybe it's not so good news after all when I put it like that...

Addiction

I don't even know what to blog about anymore. I barely blog, so I can't write about all of the stupid little things that happen to me that are funny.. which is what I like to write about.

Anyways, I'm going to blog about addiction. There are so many things out there that can cause addiction, and I recently realized I had a problem.

I have one. I am a recovering shopaholic.

It's taken me a long time to realize this. At BYU, I would shop weekly at Nordstrom and Banana Republic. I bought purses, sunglasses, outfits, designer jeans, and pointy-toed shoes. It helped fill the void in my life and made me feel better about myself. I would compare myself to other girls and think, well, at least I'm wearing expensive jeans. I would hit a major low when I actually would go shopping to find something specific and not be able to find a single clothing item. I would geta new outfit for all kinds of occasions, first date, first makeout, birthday, Easter, etc. When I moved to Portland, I started to like even more expensive clothes like BCBG.

Then, I met Graham and that void was filled... But the desire to shop has never gone away. I used to enjoy window shopping, but that just increased the size of the list of things I want in my head. I used to get emails from all of my favorite stores, like BR, JCrew, Macys, Nordstrom, etc, but it only made it worse.

So now, since we're strapped for cash.. I just have to suck it up and not shop or even look at clothes online. It has been really hard for me to deal with this addiction. But, when I look at my bills, it makes it just a little bit easier for me to overcome...

Piglet

I haven't written in a while, but our lives seem so to be a comedy of errors lately, where everything that can go wrong WILL go wrong..

Graham has a confirmed case of swine flu.. And he's down for the count for a couple of days..

We're still waiting to see if my immune system succombs to the mighty swine flu...

Back from the dead

I swear, we're still alive.

We don't have internet at our house anymore--we sold that stupid ClearWire contract--and I can't log in at work (Big Brother is watching), so I am so behind in everything. I apologize if I haven't read any of your blogs lately, or even called you. Life has been a little crazy around here.

But anyways, thanks to you all for your support. Graham and I are doing well and are learning something new every day about ourselves, as cheesy as that sounds. Marriage isn't easy, I'm learning.. Oh, and we aren't perfect. Another tough thing to learn. Why is it ingrained in my head that I need to put forward a happy face 24/7 and say that everything is perfect?

So yeah, work sucks--I was supposed to work 4 weekends this month, but my co-workers took pity on me and took one of my weekends.

Church is busy.. when I can actually go.

I also had a traumatizing experience recently that I'm not ready to talk about, but I will in time..

Yeah. That's my life.

What I'm Really Made of

So...

As some of you may remember, Graham and I have been having some problems with money lately.. There just never seems to be enough!

Anyways, besides that.. and partly because of that.. Graham and I have been treading through some troubled waters lately. I'm not here to air our dirty laundry, but I feel like being honest and completely real.

Honestly, our marriage is not perfect, even though I often thought it was.

Life is not about skating through it without any trials.

Don't worry... We are not separating, even temporarily, but I'm not gonna lie.. It's been rough. My life has been relatively easy until now. Marital troubles are so much more intense than anything else.

Before this, I believed I was weak, spoiled, lazy, unforgiving.. nothing too impressive.

But going through this has opened my eyes as to what I can achieve and who I can be.. I am so much more than I thought. I am faithful, loyal, supportive, and forgiving. I do not wallow in self-pity. I look forward to the future, full of hope.

Our marriage is getting stronger everyday.. thanks to our strong bond and temple marriage. The gopsel of Jesus Christ is true and can lift you up even from your deepest lows.

Just wanted to be open and honest about what's really going on in my life.